Be Nice to Your Ex by Following Three Steps

 Posted on February 05, 2013 in Divorce

Stress is a major motivator in own lives.  It is an emotion that helps you complete tasks and meet deadlines.  When there is too much stress that creates anxiety, anger or fear, it can result in negative effects.  Of the most stressful events in life, divorce is about the same as death of a loved one, becoming unemployed and marriage. Bringing more stress by being mean to your ex will only create more stress for yourself.  Keeping stress low will also benefit any children that you have by keeping the relationship between their parents happy.  There are also financial reasons to eliminate stress with your ex.  Constantly fighting can lead to returning to court for post degree modifications that are costly and time-consuming.  Follow three steps to keep your relationship civil. 1. Always Speak Kind Words When you speak to your ex, pretend that you are trying to impress a new friend.  Speak to them in a tone that is respectful and courteous.  Ridding your conversations of complaints and replacing them with compliments will keep your relationship civil and your children in a positive environment. 2. Speak Well of Your Ex When you speak well of your ex, it will inevitably have a positive effect on their demeanor.  While it may be trite to kill them with kindness, it can work.  It is also very important that while your kids stay with you that you do not disparage their other parent. 3. Maintain Integrity If you have a commitment to your ex or your children, then make sure it is a priority.  It shows that the relationship is both civil and respectful. Following these three steps will keep your divorce civil as well as afterwards.  It is important for your children to understand that while you may live apart, you are still a family.  Mediation can also achieve that goal of sparing your children from a difficult divorce.  Contact a skilled divorce attorney in Saint Charles who can help you decide if mediation is the right step for you.