Adult Children of Divorce Still Need SympathyFor parents who are considering divorce, there are practical benefits to waiting until their children are adults before ending their marriage. Without legal dependents, the divorcing couple will not need to establish child support payments or the allocation of parental responsibilities. As adults, the children are thought to be more mature and capable of accepting their parents' divorce. However, people of all ages can struggle with the news that their parents are divorcing. Adult children of divorce may feel emotionally and financially vulnerable. Yet, their feelings may be treated with less care because they are supposed to be more mature and independent.

Emotional Impact

Parents who are getting divorced should not assume that their adult children will accept their decision with calmness and understanding. Part of the difficulty of telling younger children about divorce is explaining the concept and what it means for them. Adult children know what divorce means, but that knowledge may not ease their emotions. Many negative thoughts can plague them, such as:

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How Domestic Violence Affects Divorce SettlementsDomestic violence between spouses can lead to or result from divorce. A person may choose to end his or her marriage because his or her spouse is abusive. In other cases, asking for a divorce may trigger a spouse’s threatening behavior. Either way, domestic violence changes how a divorce is settled. The divorce court will likely favor the victim in matters of allocation of parental responsibilities and division of property.

Order of Protection

With any case of domestic violence, the victim’s first responsibility is to protect him or herself, as well as other victims. A victim spouse should immediately seek an order of protection against the abusive spouse. The order includes several benefits for the victim spouse, such as:

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What to Consider When Making a Premarital AgreementCreating a premarital agreement is negotiating aspects of your divorce before you get married. If you have been through a divorce before, you remember how complex those negotiations were. If this is your first marriage, the process may seem overwhelming and intimidating. When thinking about your premarital agreement, it helps to remember its purpose. You and your future spouse are determining how your properties would be divided in a theoretical divorce without the animosity of the divorce clouding your judgment. When making a premarital agreement, you should anticipate financial decisions that would need to be made during a divorce.

Premarital Properties

If you divorce, your properties would be classified as either marital or nonmarital. Your marital properties would be divided equitably between the two of you, while you would keep all of your nonmarital property. Distinguishing between marital and nonmarital property becomes more difficult when spouses have been married for several years. The clearest distinction is which properties were purchased before the marriage. Your premarital agreement can identify and protect your nonmarital assets, such as:

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Avoiding Divorce Will Not Save Your MarriageDespite its general acceptance in society, some couples view divorce as an unacceptable choice during their marriage. To them, divorce means quitting on their relationship and admitting that their marriage has failed. They believe it shows more strength to try to work through their differences or tolerate the parts of their marriage that make them unhappy. Other couples are bound to their marriages because of a moral conviction that divorce is a sin. However, staying together at all costs does not make a marriage a success. Couples need divorce to be an option during unhappy marriages.

Stable but Unhealthy

During their wedding vows, couples often promise to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. Thus, they may believe that staying together is the best indicator of a successful marriage. With such a standard, a marriage is guaranteed to be successful if the spouses refuse to ever consider divorce. However, it is debatable whether a marriage is a success if the relationship is marred by:

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Six Keys to a Successful Divorce NegotiationParties negotiating a divorce settlement must walk a fine line between protecting their interests and cooperating with the other side. A person who acquiesces too often may end up with an unfavorable settlement. However, being uncompromising can prevent the sides from reaching an agreement. When spouses are unable to settle their divorce on their own, a court is forced to make important decisions for them. The resulting divorce settlement may leave both parties unsatisfied. If you plan to divorce, it is in your best interest to reach an agreement with your spouse on a settlement. You can improve your chances of a healthy negotiation by planning your approach to the process:

  1. Identify Your Priorities: Arguing every aspect of your divorce will slow down negotiations and create a combative atmosphere. Before negotiations start, you should determine which aspects of the settlement are most important to you. Save your arguments for those aspects, and be more willing to compromise on other aspects.
  2. Check Your Emotions: You may have left your spouse on bad terms, but that should not prevent you from being professional during negotiations. Speak only for yourself during the negotiations and keep the discussion away from unnecessary topics that may cause an argument.
  3. Tackle Urgent Issues First: There are parts of a divorce settlement that both you and your spouse are anxious to discuss. Address them early on, rather than letting them linger over the negotiations.
  4. Avoid Intimidation Tactics: Do not make offers that you know are unfair or give ultimatums. Pressuring your spouse may put him or her on the defensive, but you also risk a breakdown in negotiations. You may lose more by allowing a court to settle your divorce than if you had been willing to compromise.
  5. Be Honest and Forthright: Lying about your finances to gain an advantage will put you in a weaker position if you get caught. Be proactive in providing information about yourself as a sign that you will conduct these negotiations in good faith.
  6. Swallow Your Pride: Egos on both sides can prevent spouses from continuing negotiations or reaching a sensible agreement. Be willing to sacrifice your pride in order to prevent a break in negotiations.

Legal Guidance

When negotiating your divorce settlement, it may be difficult to know when you should be aggressive and when you should be willing to concede. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can advise you on how to conduct a successful negotiation that results in the divorce settlement you need. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

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Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174

 630-584-4800

 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187

 630-407-1777

Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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