3 Ways to Remind Your Child That Your Divorce is Not Their Fault

 Posted on July 24, 2023 in Divorce

It is normal and common for a child to feel as if they are to blame when their parents get divorced. Many children struggle with self-blame when their parents begin to separate. They may reflect on times they have misbehaved and wonder whether it had anything to do with your decision to get divorced. Almost no parent would say that their child is the reason for their divorce. Reminding your child that they are not to blame in your divorce can help your child cope with the divorce in a more healthy way. It can be difficult for children to adjust to spending time with their parents in different households or only seeing one parent most or all of the time. Parents should take steps to protect their children’s emotional health during this time. Helping them understand that nothing happening is their fault can go a long way towards raising an emotionally healthy child after divorce. 

Helping Your Child Understand That They Are Not at Fault 

Children may need to be reminded frequently and consistently that your divorce is not their fault. Some ways to keep reminding your child that they are not to blame include: 

• Talk openly and carefully - It is important to choose your words carefully when talking to your child about your divorce. Be open with your child, and they will likely be open with you about their feelings. In some cases, telling your child about why you are getting divorced in an age-appropriate way can help them understand that they did not cause the divorce. However, consider whether discussing the cause of your divorce is appropriate in your individual situation. 

• Invite ongoing communication - Make sure your child knows that they can always come to you to talk about how the divorce is affecting them and how they feel about it. You can also periodically check in with your child and ask how they are feeling about the changes in their life. 

• Consistency is key - Children benefit from being consistently reminded that the divorce is not their fault. The more they hear that they are not to blame, the more they will begin to internalize and accept it. If your child spends time with their other parent, it helps if you can agree to both be consistent in this messaging. 

While children may struggle with their parents’ divorce, they often come to accept it as time passes. It can help tremendously when parents actively take steps to protect their child’s emotional health. 

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

Goostree Law Group is experienced in assisting parents who are getting divorced. Our caring St. Charles divorce lawyers will help you prioritize your children and the relationship you share with them throughout the process. For a complimentary consultation, contact us at 630-584-4800. 

Source: 

https://childmind.org/article/supporting-kids-during-a-divorce/