Category Archives: Divorce

How Divorce Can Lead to AddictionPeople who are going through or have completed a divorce often turn to comforting activities to help them cope. Divorce is a significant source of stress, anxiety and depression. Divorcees are experiencing a life-altering process with an uncertain outcome. The stress increases if the two parties are hostile and combative with each other. Thus, it seems more important to be able to enjoy themselves when they have free time. However, overindulgence can lead to addiction, even for those without a history of addictive behavior. What started as a coping mechanism becomes a compulsion that is difficult to break.

Types of Addiction

People most commonly associate addiction with alcohol, tobacco products and drugs. All of the them have addictive properties and can become a chemical dependency for the users. Substance abuse is also directly linked to health complications and changes in behavior. However, addiction is broader than substance abuse, including:

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Five Ways Your Resentment Can Undermine Your DivorceYour emotions can be one of your greatest adversaries during a divorce. It is common to feel anger and resentment towards your spouse when deciding to divorce, but those emotions are counterproductive when trying to reach a settlement. Though divorce is personal, you should try to keep your divorce negotiations impersonal. Here are five ways your emotions can work against you during a divorce:

  1. Refusing to Negotiate: Sometimes our anger leads us to avoid the people we are mad at. After a contentious breakup, you may dread the thought of having to negotiate your divorce settlement with your spouse. However, refusing to negotiate takes away your power to decide how to divide your marital properties and allocate your parental responsibilities. Instead, a judge will make those important decisions for you, without the intimate knowledge of your best interests.
  2. Public Attacks: When you are feeling angry towards your spouse, it may be satisfying to vent your frustrations to friends. Social media has made this easier and more public than before. Publicly attacking your spouse makes you look bad and increases tensions, which may hinder negotiation efforts.
  3. Continuing Old Arguments: Your divorce negotiations should focus on practical matters you need to settle. Your resentment may instead divert you into an argument about the factors that caused your divorce. When you have reached the negotiation stage of the divorce, it is counterproductive to continue these arguments. The time for discussing why you are divorcing has already passed.
  4. Hostile Attitude: You must advocate for your interests during your divorce negotiations and stand firm on the issues that are most important to you. However, there is a difference between having conviction and being combative. If you are arguing every aspect of the negotiations, your resentment may be controlling you instead of rational thought. You are wasting time and energy by fighting over issues that could be settled quickly.
  5. Vindictive Motivation: Your best interests should guide your decisions during your divorce negotiations, not your spite towards your spouse. A decision that is only meant to hurt your spouse may have no benefit to you. Instead, your vindictiveness may blind you to an option that would result in a better outcome for you. You also risk hurting your children when you make spiteful decisions.

Calming Force

Putting aside your emotions during your divorce can be difficult to do alone. A Kane County divorce attorney with Goostree Law Group can provide guidance that is based on your best interests and not your personal resentment. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

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Avoiding Divorce Will Not Save Your MarriageDespite its general acceptance in society, some couples view divorce as an unacceptable choice during their marriage. To them, divorce means quitting on their relationship and admitting that their marriage has failed. They believe it shows more strength to try to work through their differences or tolerate the parts of their marriage that make them unhappy. Other couples are bound to their marriages because of a moral conviction that divorce is a sin. However, staying together at all costs does not make a marriage a success. Couples need divorce to be an option during unhappy marriages.

Stable but Unhealthy

During their wedding vows, couples often promise to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. Thus, they may believe that staying together is the best indicator of a successful marriage. With such a standard, a marriage is guaranteed to be successful if the spouses refuse to ever consider divorce. However, it is debatable whether a marriage is a success if the relationship is marred by:

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Six Keys to a Successful Divorce NegotiationParties negotiating a divorce settlement must walk a fine line between protecting their interests and cooperating with the other side. A person who acquiesces too often may end up with an unfavorable settlement. However, being uncompromising can prevent the sides from reaching an agreement. When spouses are unable to settle their divorce on their own, a court is forced to make important decisions for them. The resulting divorce settlement may leave both parties unsatisfied. If you plan to divorce, it is in your best interest to reach an agreement with your spouse on a settlement. You can improve your chances of a healthy negotiation by planning your approach to the process:

  1. Identify Your Priorities: Arguing every aspect of your divorce will slow down negotiations and create a combative atmosphere. Before negotiations start, you should determine which aspects of the settlement are most important to you. Save your arguments for those aspects, and be more willing to compromise on other aspects.
  2. Check Your Emotions: You may have left your spouse on bad terms, but that should not prevent you from being professional during negotiations. Speak only for yourself during the negotiations and keep the discussion away from unnecessary topics that may cause an argument.
  3. Tackle Urgent Issues First: There are parts of a divorce settlement that both you and your spouse are anxious to discuss. Address them early on, rather than letting them linger over the negotiations.
  4. Avoid Intimidation Tactics: Do not make offers that you know are unfair or give ultimatums. Pressuring your spouse may put him or her on the defensive, but you also risk a breakdown in negotiations. You may lose more by allowing a court to settle your divorce than if you had been willing to compromise.
  5. Be Honest and Forthright: Lying about your finances to gain an advantage will put you in a weaker position if you get caught. Be proactive in providing information about yourself as a sign that you will conduct these negotiations in good faith.
  6. Swallow Your Pride: Egos on both sides can prevent spouses from continuing negotiations or reaching a sensible agreement. Be willing to sacrifice your pride in order to prevent a break in negotiations.

Legal Guidance

When negotiating your divorce settlement, it may be difficult to know when you should be aggressive and when you should be willing to concede. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can advise you on how to conduct a successful negotiation that results in the divorce settlement you need. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

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Immature Marriage More Likely to End in DivorceA popular myth about marriage in the U.S. is that half of all first marriages end in divorce. Data says that the divorce rate peaked at 40 percent in 1980 and has been declining since. Thus, it is false to assume that a marriage is just as likely to fail as succeed because it is a first marriage. However, there is a demographic that is more likely to divorce from their first marriage. They are people who:

  • Marry when they are younger than 25;
  • Do not have a college education; and
  • Are in a lower income class.

These characteristics identify people who are getting married when they are still immature.

Marriage Is Work

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Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174

 630-584-4800

 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187

 630-407-1777

Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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