Tag Archives: Kane County divorce attorney

Financing the Cost of Your DivorceDivorce is an expensive process. Beyond what you may give up in the divorce settlement, you are responsible for paying attorney and court fees. You may need an alternative form of financing if your available income cannot pay for your legal fees. Establishing credit or liquidating assets involves its own risks. You must carefully consider the consequences of each form of financing before making your decision.

Bank Loans and Credit Cards

If you have a good credit rating, you can pay your legal fees by taking out a loan or charging it to a credit card. Naturally, you will pay more over time because of interest. However, you must also consider what level of payments you will be able to afford after your divorce. You, and not your spouse, are responsible for the debt you create after you file for divorce.

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Divorce When a Spouse Has DementiaWhen a spouse enters the advanced stages of dementia, his or her marital relationship fundamentally changes. The healthy spouse becomes a caregiver or hires a healthcare professional to perform the duties. Either way, the spouses’ relationship as partners is over. Unfortunately, a marriage to a dementia patient can deteriorate to the point that the spouses divorce. How a court considers a divorce case involving someone with dementia depends on which party is initiating the divorce.

Divorcing a Dementia Patient

Spouses of dementia patients may have mixed feelings about whether they should stay in their marriages. Most people feel they should remain loyal to their spouses, regardless of the mental or physical deterioration they suffer. However, having a spouse with dementia may not feel like being married at all:

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Perils of Dating Too Soon After DivorceDating after divorce would be simpler if there was a set amount of time after which you knew you were ready to start a new relationship. Emotionally moving on from your marriage is a process, not a time period. Divorcees create arbitrary waiting periods because they know they should not immediately jump into a new relationship. However, you cannot predict how long your emotional recovery will take. Entering into a relationship too soon after a divorce can lead to impulsive decisions and unfortunate consequences.

Still Recovering

Divorcees may feel the desire to start dating again before they are emotionally ready for a new relationship. Dating fills a void left by the divorce and distracts you from addressing your underlying emotions. During a new relationship, you can tell that you have not moved past your divorce if:

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Avoid Feeling Guilty During DivorceThere is an important difference between feeling regret and feeling guilt during your divorce. With regret, you are thinking about the mistakes that lead to your divorce. It is best not to linger on regrets, but identifying them can help you learn from your divorce and heal. With guilt, you are blaming yourself for the divorce occurring, even though such a feeling is often inaccurate and unproductive. People who believe they are to blame for their divorces may want to punish themselves during the divorce negotiations. Divorcees must separate feelings of guilt from how they reach a settlement on financial issues and the allocation of parental responsibilities.

Reasons for Guilt

It helps to identify why you feel guilty when you are blaming yourself for your divorce. Understanding the source of your guilt allows you to rationalize whether it is fair to say you are at fault for the divorce. There are various reasons people may blame themselves for their divorces, including:

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Resolving to Improve as a Parent for the New YearNew Year’s resolutions are about finding ways to improve yourself, with the noticeable passage of time as the impetus. If you are concerned about your deteriorating relationship with your children after your divorce or separation, you can resolve to be a better parent. You have a finite amount of time to form an emotional bond with your children while they are still at the age when they look towards you for guidance. Here are five tips that may help you improve as a parent for the new year:

  1. Increase Contact: Your children need to notice your presence in order to develop a relationship with you. You can try to increase your share of parenting time, though it may be impractical depending upon distance and schedules. There are alternatives to physical contact with your children, such as phone calls, video chats and emails. Electronic communication allows continued interaction without worrying about transportation or clearing your schedule for most of the day.
  2. Show Interest: When you are with your children, focus on activities or interaction that they want. Ask them questions about themselves and listen to what they say. Encourage them to come to you if they are worried about something and need advice or support. You will have more success trying to integrate into their lives than forcing them to do what you want.
  3. Be Persistent Yet Patient: Your children may not immediately respond to your efforts to improve your relationship, particularly if they are approaching their teenage years. They may be unfamiliar with your new attitude and unsure of how to respond. Keep trying to reach them, while figuring out which interactions are most successful. However, do not be overly aggressive. Trying too hard may drive them away.
  4. Play Nice with Your Co-Parent: If the children primarily live with the other parent, he or she will largely affect their opinion about you. Be cordial and accommodating with your former spouse, and he or she will hopefully reciprocate by encouraging your children to maintain a relationship with you. Cooperating as parents will help you both in successfully raising your children.
  5. Follow Through: The biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that people tend to forget about them after a couple of months. You cannot afford to do that with your children because they would feel betrayed and may never again trust you enough to have a close relationship. Once you have established a new pattern of contact and interaction, you need to continue it.

Building a Relationship

Adjusting your parenting agreement can grant you more time with your children. A Kane County family law attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you petition to modify your parenting agreement. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

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Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174

 630-584-4800

 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187

 630-407-1777

Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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