Controlling Your Anger During Your Divorce

 Posted on June 27, 2017 in Divorce

Divorce can dredge up negative emotions from both parties because marriages often end due to a conflict between spouses. Anger directed at the other spouse is a common emotion that divorcees may express. It may naturally subside as the former spouses have minimal interaction with each other. However, anger can persist with divorced parents, who are connected through the allocation of parental responsibilities. Anger can be a destructive emotion that you must address during and after your divorce.

Problems with Anger

The process of getting a divorce can cause you to feel depressed and anxious. Anger, in a way, is comforting because it allows you to blame your spouse for your negative emotions. Feeling some anger is natural and can be tempered. However, letting your anger grow out of control will hurt yourself and those around you:

• Anger can hinder your ability to make rational decisions during divorce negotiations and as a co-parent after the divorce;
• Your spouse may reciprocate your anger, making compromise more difficult;
• A divorce judge may be less sympathetic to an angry and combative party;
• Holding on to your past anger prevents you from transitioning into your post-divorce life;
• Excessive anger can degrade your physical and mental health; and
• Your children may mimic your angry behavior or believe you are angry at them.

Coping with Anger

Recognizing your anger is an important step, as well as admitting that you share responsibility for it. Your spouse may act in a way that infuriates you during the divorce, but you allow yourself to lose control of your emotions. Even when you recognize your anger problem, treating it can be difficult. It may be impossible to erase your anger, but there are ways to control it:

• See a therapist to understand why you are angry and discuss other ways you can respond;
• Attend a divorce support group meeting, where other people share how they cope with anger;
• Write your feelings in a journal to help rationalize your angry thoughts;
• Identify what triggers your anger and prepare calming techniques;
• Find activities that help you relax and relieve stress; and
• Focus on the positive relationships in your life, such as other family members and friends.

Calm Representation 

When you are controlled by vindictive feelings towards your spouse, you may make decisions that prevent a reasonable divorce settlement or unintentionally harm yourself. An experienced Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can be a calming influence in your divorce case. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/coping-with-divorce-related-anger