Did you know that, on average, 24 people per minute are victimized by physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States? This amounts to more than 12 million women and men each year. It is estimated that one in three women and one in four men in this country will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in their lives. In addition, 75 percent of domestic violence victims have children living in the home with them. Efforts have been made to provide better protections from domestic violence, but there is still work to be done.

Domestic Violence Can Leave Victims Paralyzed by Fear

Domestic violence involves complex psychological effects for the women and men who experience it. In many cases, victims do not want their abuser arrested and jailed, they only want the abuse to stop. Fearing that involving law enforcement will upset their lives too much, many victims suffer in silence for years, not sharing with anyone the abuse they have been forced to endure. Orders of protection can be issued to keep abusers away from victims, but victims need to be able to depend on police departments and the court system to uphold those orders.

A Changing Culture

Thankfully, society has changed its attitudes about domestic violence over the last few decades. According to a 1987 survey, 50 percent of Americans thought it was acceptable for a husband to beat his wife with a belt. Ten years later, almost 90 percent said it was wrong—a percentage that largely holds to this day.

Domestic violence between spouses can lead to or result from divorce. A person may choose to end his or her marriage because his or her spouse is abusive. In other cases, asking for a divorce may trigger a spouse’s threatening behavior. Either way, domestic violence changes how a divorce is settled. The divorce court will likely favor the victim in matters of allocation of parental responsibilities and division of property.

Order of Protection

With any case of domestic violence, the victim’s first responsibility is to protect him or herself, as well as other victims. A victim spouse should immediately seek an order of protection against the abusive spouse. The order includes several benefits for the victim spouse, such as:

It is easy for observers to say that victims of domestic violence can protect themselves by simply leaving. The victims, who are statistically most likely to be women, may say that the matter is more complicated. A domestic violence victim can understand that she needs to leave her abuser but worry about the consequences of leaving, such as:

• Ending her relationship with someone she still loves;
• Retaliation from her abuser when she leaves;
• Finding a place to live; and
• Economically supporting herself and her children.

Many of these doubts can be addressed by planning ahead before leaving. If you are a victim or at risk of domestic abuse, you need a plan in place that will allow you to leave quickly and feel safe.

Where to Go

Anyone who is a victim of domestic violence must take the necessary steps to protect themselves and others who are vulnerable. This may include leaving your home and calling the police to press charges. You can receive a temporary order of protection as a legal safeguard against your attacker.

However, orders of protection are just one right that domestic violence victims have in Illinois. The state has several laws and resources available that can help you financially and protect you against discrimination.

Work

Attempting to understand why some spouses choose to remain in abusive relationships is never easy. An overwhelming number of married partners find themselves with the need to seek out domestic violence protection and pursue a divorce, often after they have endured months or even years of physical and emotional abuse. The reality is that the reasons behind someone’s drive to stay with a physically or verbally violent partner is extremely multifaceted. Time Magazine reports multiple studies that reveal individuals stay with their abusers usually for more than one reason, further emphasizing the fact that there is never a single, simple answer for why someone remains in an abusive environment.

Why Victims Stay

The statistics surrounding abusive relationships are alarming: one in four women experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime. Only one-fifth of all rapes are reported to the police, and only one-quarter of all physical assaults are reported. Domestic abuse is considered one of the most underreported crimes across the board, and yet many of the partners who make up these statistics stay put. Here are some of the most common reasons victims opt to avoid divorce and instead choose to remain in an abusive marriage: