Domestic violence between spouses can lead to or result from divorce. A person may choose to end his or her marriage because his or her spouse is abusive. In other cases, asking for a divorce may trigger a spouse’s threatening behavior. Either way, domestic violence changes how a divorce is settled. The divorce court will likely favor the victim in matters of allocation of parental responsibilities and division of property.

Order of Protection

With any case of domestic violence, the victim’s first responsibility is to protect him or herself, as well as other victims. A victim spouse should immediately seek an order of protection against the abusive spouse. The order includes several benefits for the victim spouse, such as:

It is easy for observers to say that victims of domestic violence can protect themselves by simply leaving. The victims, who are statistically most likely to be women, may say that the matter is more complicated. A domestic violence victim can understand that she needs to leave her abuser but worry about the consequences of leaving, such as:

• Ending her relationship with someone she still loves;
• Retaliation from her abuser when she leaves;
• Finding a place to live; and
• Economically supporting herself and her children.

Many of these doubts can be addressed by planning ahead before leaving. If you are a victim or at risk of domestic abuse, you need a plan in place that will allow you to leave quickly and feel safe.

Where to Go

Anyone who is a victim of domestic violence must take the necessary steps to protect themselves and others who are vulnerable. This may include leaving your home and calling the police to press charges. You can receive a temporary order of protection as a legal safeguard against your attacker.

However, orders of protection are just one right that domestic violence victims have in Illinois. The state has several laws and resources available that can help you financially and protect you against discrimination.

Work

Attempting to understand why some spouses choose to remain in abusive relationships is never easy. An overwhelming number of married partners find themselves with the need to seek out domestic violence protection and pursue a divorce, often after they have endured months or even years of physical and emotional abuse. The reality is that the reasons behind someone’s drive to stay with a physically or verbally violent partner is extremely multifaceted. Time Magazine reports multiple studies that reveal individuals stay with their abusers usually for more than one reason, further emphasizing the fact that there is never a single, simple answer for why someone remains in an abusive environment.

Why Victims Stay

The statistics surrounding abusive relationships are alarming: one in four women experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime. Only one-fifth of all rapes are reported to the police, and only one-quarter of all physical assaults are reported. Domestic abuse is considered one of the most underreported crimes across the board, and yet many of the partners who make up these statistics stay put. Here are some of the most common reasons victims opt to avoid divorce and instead choose to remain in an abusive marriage:

Most couples discuss whether they want to have children and a tentative timeline for doing so before they marry. Sometimes, these plans and timelines change after the couple marries, causing one or both partners to be disappointed by the other's new perspective. This can lead to arguments, resentment, and in many cases, divorce.

In some cases, it leads to reproductive coercion. This is an act or threat of violence against one's partner for failing to comply with one's sexual or reproductive desires. What many individuals do not realize is that reproductive coercion is a form of sexual abuse, which is a form of domestic violence.

Examples of Reproductive Coercion