Thousands of Illinois residents adopt children each year, providing new homes to those in need of a stable family. If you wish to become an adoptive parent, you should be aware that it is a long and sometimes arduous process. The cost of adopting a child may surprise you. According to Adoptive Families Magazine, the average adoption in the U.S. costs $43,000. However, the cost does not have to be an obstacle in completing the adoption process because there are ways you can be reimbursed.

Adoption Costs

The price of adoption depends on factors such as which adoption agency you use and where you are adopting the child from. Prospective adoptive parents may pay fees for:

• Adoption agency services, such as home studies, placement, and counseling
• Legal services and court filings
• Living and medical expenses for the birth mother if the adoptive parents have arranged to adopt the unborn child
• International travel if attempting to adopt a child from another country

In Illinois, you can adopt a child through the state’s Department of Children and Family Services or a licensed adoption agency. Illinois requires licensed adoption agencies to be charitable organizations, but the agencies still need to charge fees for the services they provide and their own expenses, such as paying their staff.

Terminating a parent’s rights is not a decision that Illinois courts reach easily or without a compelling reason. A court may restrict a parent’s right to see a child if that parent is unfit or a threat. A disinterested parent can waive his or her right to parenting time and decision-making. However, it is rare for a court to grant a request to voluntarily terminate parental rights – even if both parents agree to it – unless there is another adult willing to adopt the child.

Why Voluntary Termination Is Rarely Granted

The legal parents of a child have both rights and responsibilities that cannot be surrendered or taken away without court approval. Child support is a vital financial responsibility that a court cannot eliminate unless it is terminating someone’s legal status as a parent. If it was easy for parents to voluntarily terminate their rights, some would do so in order to avoid continued child support payments. Instead, Illinois believes that it is in the best interest of a child to have two parents to financially support him or her.

Adoption

A court is more likely to grant a request to terminate parental rights in cases of adoption. The adoptive parent, such as a new spouse, agrees to take on the financial responsibility for the child, which satisfies one of the court’s largest concerns about terminating parental rights. However, the court will not terminate a parent’s rights against his or her wishes. Either the parent must willingly surrender his or her parental rights or the state can petition to terminate a parent’s rights by proving that he or she is unfit in ways such as:

Learning that you or your partner is infertile can be one of the most difficult challenges a marriage will face. Your feelings may be similar to how you would react to a death: grief, denial, anger, depression and acceptance. In a way, you are mourning the loss of a biological child you and your partner will never share. Amid the grief and seeking alternative means to have children, it is easy to miss signs that your marriage is in trouble. Infertility can bring a couple closer together but can also cause a division that leads to divorce.

Emotional Reaction

Both people in a marriage may feel shock and sadness at the news that one of them is infertile. The infertile spouse often feels guilty and inadequate, especially in the case of women. The other spouse may feel disappointed and uncertain of the future if having children is one of his or her goals in life. Negative emotions can cause couples to react in unhealthy ways, such as:

The most common adoption cases typically involve an adult becoming the legal parent of a child after the biological parents consent to giving up their parental rights. Illinois is one of the few states to include standby adoption as a legal option. Standby adoption allows parents to decide who the adoptive parents of their children will be in case of their deaths. The rights and responsibilities of parents in a standby adoption are the same as those in other forms of adoption in Illinois, but the process must be planned in advance.

How It Works

Standby adoption may be established as part of an estate plan or when a parent has a terminal illness. The parents must fill out a consent form that:

In today’s American culture, remarriage is more common than ever. There are many reasons for the increase in second and third marriages, but most of them can be reduced to the idea that divorce does not cause people to give up on their dreams of being happy. For some, remarriage is relatively simple, with each spouse owning modest amounts of property and neither having children. In other cases, it can be more complex, particularly when children are involved. While some stepparents only ever develop a friendly relationship with their stepchildren, others become much closer. Some, in fact, take the rather large step of pursuing a stepparent adoption to create a permanent parent-child relationship.

Take It Slow

A whirlwind romance between two adults can be invigorating and exciting, and there is not necessarily anything wrong with such a relationship. However, it is unreasonable to expect that your new partner’s child is ready to accept you into his or her life just as quickly. Much depends on the child’s age and maturity level, but understand that the child is likely to have mixed emotions about you as his or her parent’s new partner. As you begin your life together, make every effort to be respectful and consistent in your attitude toward your spouse’s child, and do not push too hard. If a closer relationship is going to develop, it is going to take time and effort.