Using an Elevator Speech to Explain Your DivorcePart of the social aspect of getting a divorce is telling other people about the news. For family and close friends, you will have a personalized conversation that considers their emotions and gives them chances to ask questions. For casual acquaintances, a standard speech is appropriate and often easier for you than having an open-ended conversation. To borrow a business networking term, you should develop a divorce elevator speech as an automatic reply to anyone who asks about your divorce.

Purpose of an Elevator Speech

You do not have the time or emotional energy to get into a long conversation about your divorce with everyone you know. Some casual acquaintances will ask you questions about your divorce because they are curious and inquisitive by nature. An elevator speech gets its name because it is short and succinct enough that you can say it to someone while riding in an elevator, which usually takes one-to-two minutes. With an elevator speech, you want to:

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Five Advantages to Divorcing While YoungDivorcing before the age of 30 is uncommon today, partially because people are waiting longer to get married. People who do divorce at a young age face some social stigma. Their friends and family may question whether the couple:

  • Rushed into the marriage;
  • Quit on the marriage too soon;
  • Were too immature to be married;
  • Do not take relationships and marriage seriously; or
  • Could not sustain the marriage because of personality flaws.

It is unfair to judge people’s marriages and divorces based on their age. Younger couples can enter marriage for mature reasons, and older couples can make mistakes in getting married. Unfortunately, young divorcees may be the ones doubting themselves the most. They should remember the positive aspects of divorcing while they are still young:

  1. Chance for Reset: People who wait until they are older to divorce have less time to start over with a new relationship. Young divorcees are at an age when many people have not yet married. There is ample time for them to start a new relationship, get married and have a family.
  2. Cutting Losses: It takes some spouses decades to realize or admit that their marriage is not working. That means years of being stuck in an unhappy marriage. Young divorcees are acknowledging the truth of their marriage sooner and lessening their years of unhappiness.
  3. Child Issues: Younger couples may not have had children yet because many spouses are waiting until they are in their 30s to become parents. The allocation of parental responsibilities and child support are two of the most contentious and emotional aspects of a divorce negotiation. Having no children from the marriage allows the former spouses to completely disconnect from each other after divorce.
  4. Fewer Complications: Spouses build up shared properties during a long marriage, all of which must be accounted for in the division of property. Younger couples had less time to accumulate marital properties and are less likely to have complex finances, such as diverse business interests and lucrative retirement accounts.
  5. Learning from Mistakes: People who reflect on their divorces often realize that they made mistakes in their marriages. They can change themselves for the better but may wish they had realized their mistakes sooner. Younger divorcees have learned things about themselves that other couples took decades to figure out. They also have more time to use what they learned.

Young Divorce

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Variables Involved in Parent's Right of First RefusalA parenting plan sets the schedule for when children stay with parents who live apart, but Illinois courts generally presume that separated parents should be able to expand their parenting time when circumstances allow it. That is why some parenting plans include a right of first refusal for each parent. Special circumstances sometimes prevent a parent from being able to watch the children during his or her scheduled parenting time. The right of first refusal requires the unavailable parent to offer the other parent a chance to watch the children before asking a third party. Separating parents may agree to this provision because they know that the children are best off being with one of them. However, there are several variables to a right of first refusal provision that can cause disagreements.


It may be impractical for a parent to be required to contact his or her co-parent every time he or she needs childcare. The co-parents must also decide how the transfer of the children would work. A right of first refusal provision includes conditions that clarify when and how the provision is used. This may include:

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Taking a Qualitative Approach to Divorce ParentingFiguring out child-related issues during a divorce often requires crunching the numbers. Parents must determine:

  • How many hours the children will spend with each parent during the week;
  • How to divide holidays and special occasions with the children;
  • What their total child-related expenses are; and
  • What percentage of child support each parent is responsible for.

Divorcing parents often come up with the best solutions to these issues by considering the emotional aspects of parenting. Being a good parent takes more than spending time and money. The quality of the parental relationship is just as important towards a child’s emotional development.

Parenting Time

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Valuing Unusual Properties During a DivorceDetermining the value of antiques and collectibles during a divorce can be trickier than with other marital properties. You cannot afford to overlook them as they may be some of the most valuable properties of your marriage. It will be too late to receive compensation if you learn that a marital property you gave away with little consideration is worth thousands of dollars. Your former spouse may have known of the item’s true value, taking advantage of your ignorance to receive an unequal share of your marital properties. That is why it is important to use a professional appraiser to give you an accurate value of your marital properties.

Identifying Properties

Marital property in a divorce includes any items that were purchased during your marriage or were maintained with marital money. Your spouse may have been the one to purchase and use the items, but your shared financial resources give you a right to ownership or equal compensation. There are a variety of antiques and collectibles you may possess, including:

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Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174


 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187


Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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