Why Do People Stay in Unhappy Marriages?

 Posted on October 29, 2026 in Divorce

A marriage that starts out as loving and happy can sour over time. But even when the relationship has deteriorated, some spouses opt not to get a divorce. The reasons for this are complicated, varying from case to case. If you are considering divorce or need help evaluating your options, consider talking to a Yorkville, IL family law attorney.

At Goostree Law Group, we have decades of legal experience handling complex concerns for Kendall County spouses, including issues of child custody, property division, contested divorce, and more. Our firm is ready to discuss divorce or an alternative like legal separation based on your situation.

Five Reasons Why People Stay in Unhappy Marriages in 2026

Many people stay in unhappy marriages for years before they decide to make a change. Some hope things will get better, while others feel stuck by money, family ties, or fear of the unknown. Knowing the most common reasons can help you look at your own situation more clearly.

Staying Together for the Sake of the Children

Parents often stay in an unhappy marriage to protect their children from the pain of divorce. They worry about moving the kids between two homes. They fear their children will feel hurt, confused, or blamed. Some parents plan to wait until the kids finish high school.

These concerns come from a place of love. Still, children can often sense tension at home, even when parents try to hide it. A home filled with conflict can be hard on kids, too. Illinois courts focus on the best interests of the child when they decide parenting time, and many children adjust well when both parents stay involved after a divorce.

Stability in a Long Marriage

Spouses in a long marriage may feel that their lives are too tied together to separate. After 20 or 30 years, a couple may share a home, retirement accounts, friends, and daily routines. Starting over can feel risky, especially later in life.

Money is frequently a major concern. One spouse may have stayed home to raise children or support the other spouse’s career. That person may fear losing financial security. Illinois law allows the court to divide marital property fairly and, in some cases, award maintenance to a spouse who needs support. Learning about these options can make the future feel less uncertain.

Religious Reasons

Faith shapes how many people view marriage, and some religions strongly discourage divorce. A person may feel guilt or worry about how their faith community will react. They may also fear losing a sense of belonging at church or with religious friends. Each person has to weigh his or her own beliefs against safety, health, and happiness. No one else can make that choice on his or her behalf.

Not Wanting to Deal With Divorce Proceedings

The divorce process can seem long, costly, and stressful, so some people avoid it for as long as they can. They may picture heated court battles and endless paperwork. They may also worry about legal fees or facing their spouse in a courtroom.

In reality, many Illinois divorces never go to trial. Spouses can often settle issues like property, support, and parenting time through negotiation or mediation. Knowing what to expect at each stage can also make the process feel more manageable. A clear plan and a steady legal team can take some of the stress out of the process.

Social Pressure

Fear of judgment from family, friends, and neighbors keeps some people in marriages that no longer work. Parents or in-laws may push the couple to stay together. Friends may take sides. Some people worry about what others will think or feel ashamed that the marriage did not last.

Divorce is common, and people choose it for many valid reasons. Your life and well-being belong to you. Talking with a counselor or a trusted friend outside the situation can help you sort out what you want. The opinions of others should not keep you in a situation that makes you unhappy.

How Is Legal Separation Different From a Divorce?

A legal separation in Illinois lets spouses live apart and set rules for support without ending the marriage. The couple stays legally married. Neither spouse can remarry. A court can still order spousal support and decide issues like child support and parenting time.

A divorce, on the other hand, ends the marriage for good. The court divides marital property and debts, sets support, and finalizes parenting plans. Once the judgment is entered, each spouse is free to remarry.

Some people choose legal separation for religious reasons. Alternatively, a couple may choose legal separation for the practical benefits tied to the marriage, like insurance. Some simply want time apart before making a final decision. A legal separation does not always divide property, so spouses who later divorce may need to address those issues again.

What Are the Steps to File for Divorce in Illinois?

Filing for divorce in Illinois involves several steps, and the details can change based on your case. Here is a general overview of the process:

• Meet the residency rule: At least one spouse must have lived in Illinois for 90 days before the court can enter a divorce judgment.

• File a petition: One spouse files a petition for dissolution of marriage in the circuit court of the right county. Illinois is a no-fault state, so the only ground is irreconcilable differences (750 ILCS 5/401).

• Serve the other spouse: The other spouse must receive formal notice of the case and a copy of the petition.

• Share financial information: Both spouses must disclose their income, assets, and debts. This step helps the court and the parties make fair decisions.

• Negotiate or go to mediation: Spouses work to reach agreements on property, support, and parenting time. Many cases settle at this stage.

• Finalize the divorce: If the spouses agree, the court reviews and approves the settlement. If they cannot agree, the judge decides the remaining issues after a trial.

Every divorce is different, and the process can take months, or over a year in contested cases. The time frame depends on how many issues are in dispute and how willing both spouses are to work together.

Contact Our Yorkville, IL Divorce Lawyers

Leaving an unhappy marriage is a hard and personal choice, and you do not have to sort through the legal side on your own. At Goostree Law Group, we listen to your goals, explain your options, and help you plan for what comes next, whether that means a legal separation or a divorce. Contact our Kendall County, IL family law attorneys or call 630-584-4800 to schedule a consultation.