Four Rules for Personal Boundaries After Divorce

Four Rules for Personal Boundaries After DivorceThe habits that you form with your spouse during your marriage are difficult to break, even after your divorce. It seems obvious that you should not remain in contact with your ex-spouse unless it is necessary, such as with co-parenting. However, you need to adjust to the new personal boundaries that your divorce created, which is not easy because of your close relationship with your former spouse. There are four rules for respecting your former spouse’s boundaries:

  1. Do Not Ask Your Ex for Help: You may have relied on your former spouse to fix problems during your marriage, such as household repairs, car troubles, or tech support. You may feel tempted to continue asking him or her for help with these problems, even though you are no longer together. Doing this puts your former spouse in an awkward position. You should seek help from other friends and family or hire a professional.
  2. Do Not Pry Into Your Ex’s Personal Life: You will be curious about the details of your former spouse’s personal life and how he or she is doing compared to you. Keeping tabs on your spouse is an invasion of privacy and unhealthy for you. Do not ask personal questions when you see him or her. Do not ask your children for updates. Do not stalk him or her on social media.
  3. Do Not Disturb Your Ex’s Parenting Time: A reasonable parenting agreement should allow you to contact your children if needed during your former spouse’s parenting time. However, you should not abuse this by having long phone conversations with them or crashing activities that your former spouse has planned for them. Give them space so they can build their relationship with their other parent. 
  4. Do Not Show Up at Your Ex’s Home Unannounced: When your former spouse receives your marital home in the divorce, it becomes his or her private property. You do not have the right to enter the property without permission just because you used to live there. Contact your spouse in advance if you have a reason you need to go inside his or her home.

Giving Each Other Space

Your divorce agreement will establish many of the personal boundaries between you and your former spouse. You will decide who owns each marital property and how to allocate your parental responsibilities. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you create a divorce agreement that respects your boundaries. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.


Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

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St. Charles, IL 60174


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Naperville IL 60563


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Wheaton, IL 60187


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