How to Nurture Resilience in Your Children After Divorce

 Posted on April 23, 2020 in Children of Divorce

As a parent who decided to divorce, you may be concerned about how the divorce will emotionally affect your children. You know that they will be upset, but will the divorce cause long-lasting emotional trauma? The good news is that it is possible for children of divorce to become more resilient because of their experience, making them more capable of handling other hardships that may occur in their lives. There are several ways that you can create an environment that enables your child to build that resiliency:

1. Healthy Communication: To understand how the divorce is affecting your children, you need to listen to what they say and watch how they behave. Encourage them to be open about their feelings without forcing them to talk when they are clearly not in the mood. When they do decide to talk, let them finish speaking without interjecting to correct them or add your own opinion. Resist your instinct to want to solve their problems for them or to reassure them that things are not so bad. The most important thing for you to do is to show sympathy towards their feelings and answer the questions that they ask.
2. Creating Structure: Life will not be the same for your children as it used to be, but you can create a new normal that still supports them. Establish routines that incorporate familiar activities while adding new ones. Keep up traditions, such as holiday activities or special meals. Stay consistent with your parenting schedule so that your children can grow familiar with when they will spend time with each parent. Do not treat your children with gifts or special activities as a way to make up for the divorce. They need to settle into a normal routine.
3. Preserving Connections: Your child’s relationships and activities outside of your home are some of the ways they may be able to cope with your divorce. Even if things have changed drastically at home, they can find relief in spending time with their friends and attending school. Relocating soon after a divorce takes those outlets away from them and may cause too much change at once. This should be one of your top considerations if you are debating whether to move your children to a new area following your divorce.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

Co-parenting is one of the most important factors in raising resilient children. You need to be able to put your personal differences aside in order to make decisions that are in the best interest of your children. At Goostree Law Group, our St. Charles, Illinois, divorce attorneys will help you create a parenting plan that fosters a healthy co-parenting relationship. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://gabardi.com/2016/07/13/8-ways-to-raise-happy-resilient-kids-after-divorce/