How Toddlers Can React to Their Parents' Divorce

 Posted on April 03, 2018 in Children of Divorce

Children often experience the least amount of trauma from their parents’ divorce when it occurs before they are old enough to form memories. There will eventually be sadness and questions when they realize that a two-parent household is considered normal, but they do not grasp the immediate split between their parents. However, children become capable of noticing their parents’ divorce at a younger age than parents may expect. By age 2, children can start to create memories, some of which may be traumatic if they involve divorce.

Emotional Sensitivity

Toddlers are incapable of understanding a verbal explanation as to what a divorce is and why it happens. However, they can pick up on changes in their environment, such as:

• Parents fighting with each other more often;
• An increased absence by one parent;
• Disruptions to their routines; and
• Feelings of depression from parents.

Sensing the negative emotions associated with a divorce can be confusing and upsetting to young children. Their behavior is the only means they have to express themselves. A young child of divorce may respond with:

• More frequent crying and tantrums;
• Increased attachment to his or her parents;
• Regression in behavior and skills; and
• Being more fearful in general.

How to Help

Young children cannot say that a divorce is affecting their behavior because they have yet to develop such communication skills. However, divorcing parents should expect a negative reaction from their toddler. There are several actions that you as parents can take to console your young child:

1. Try to Explain: A toddler will not understand the concept of divorce, but you should attempt to talk to him or her about it. Acknowledge that the family is changing but that your love for him or her will never change.
2. Share Parenting Time: Bonding between parents and children starts at a young age. It is important that your child continues to see both of you on a regular basis. This includes overnight visits, which will allow your child to have a complete bonding experience.
3. Establish Routine: Familiarity and structure comfort young children. Though your divorce is disrupting both of these, you can still create a new routine for your young child to become familiar with. Be consistent with your parenting schedule and include familiar activities in your daily routine.

Toddlers and Divorce

Do not underestimate your young child’s ability to perceive the emotions involved with your divorce. A Kane County family law attorney with Goostree Law Group can help you create a parenting plan that will serve the best interest of your children. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/myths-how-divorce-hurts-children-parents/