Lessons Your Children Learn from Your Divorce

Lessons Your Children Learn from Your DivorceThere is no denying that divorce is a negative experience for your children. You can rationalize how your children will be better off because of the divorce. From their perspective, they have witnessed the end of a relationship that defines their lives and are faced with uncertainties about their futures. However, divorce can have both a positive and negative effect on your children. They may not see any immediate benefits, but the experience can teach lessons that help them become better adults.

Healthy Relationships

Your marriage has a great influence on how your children will view and treat their own relationships. By witnessing your unhealthy marriage, they may unwittingly pick up your bad habits and make the same relationship mistakes that you did. The first lesson your divorce teaches is that your marriage was not a healthy relationship and that it is appropriate to end a relationship that makes you miserable. However, you also need to demonstrate a healthy relationship if you do not want them to repeat your mistakes. In interacting with your former spouse and potential new romantic partner, show that a relationship requires:

  • Mutual respect;
  • Honesty;
  • Compromise;
  • Effort; and
  • Affection.


For better or worse, children often grow up a little quicker after their parents divorce. As a single parent, you may need their help more often than when you were married. You no longer have your spouse to share your day-to-day parenting responsibilities. In addition, you must allow time in your schedule to transport your children between your home and the other parent's home. This is a good opportunity to teach your children responsibility by:

  • Assigning them household chores;
  • Involving them more in your daily tasks; and
  • Showing them the importance of managing your time and keeping to a schedule.


Your children will likely face multiple traumatic events in their lives. Your divorce may be the first chance for them to learn how to deal with trauma. A professional, such as a child therapist, can help them express their feelings and teach them coping mechanisms. As a result, your children may become more emotionally resilient and empathetic to the needs of others.

Learning from Mistakes

You want your children to be better people and have better lives than yourself. This includes them having a healthy marriage that does not end in divorce. The lessons they learn from your divorce will largely come from how you and their other parent interact. A Kane County family law attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you reach an amicable divorce agreement that encourages cooperation. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.



Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174


 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187


Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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