One of the difficulties when separate parents raise children is how to handle conflicting beliefs. Parents may have different opinions on:

• What their children's religious beliefs should be;
• Which medical treatments should be allowed; and
• What they should eat. 

Decisions about how to raise children must be made with their best interests in mind, but what is best for the children is subjective in these cases, which are more about personal preference. A family court is unlikely to intervene in these disputes, unless a parent’s beliefs are harmful to the child.

Religion

When you are a divorced parent, figuring out how to divide holiday parenting time can be very difficult. It is especially challenging if you and the other parent are not able to communicate effectively. Any parent who has a healthy relationship with their child, however, will want to spend time together during important family holidays like Christmas. Doing so is possible with some advance planning and cooperation between you and your ex-spouse.

You and your former partner may already have an agreement in place regarding where your child will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. A holiday parenting schedule is often included in a court-approved parenting plan. In many situations, parents—especially those who live relatively far from one another—will enjoy Christmas parenting time in alternating years. For example, your child may spend Christmas with you this year and, next year, he or she will spend Christmas with the other parent.

If you and the other parent live close enough, however, your child may be able to spend part of the holiday with each of you. Of course, this may be more complicated in terms of transportation and scheduling meals with extended family, but the time with your child on Christmas is worth the extra trouble.

When a couple gets married, it is not at all uncommon for a spouse—usually a woman, but not always—to take her partner’s last name as a symbol of their union. Some partners choose to hyphenate their surnames so as to keep their own identity while adding their spouse’s name to theirs. When a marriage comes to an end, it is relatively easy—and usually part of the standard divorce paperwork—for a spouse who changed her name to change it back during the proceedings. But, what about the children of a divorcing couple? It turns out that changing the name of a minor child in Illinois may be more complicated than most people realize.

What the Law Says

While most of the legal details surrounding marriage and divorce are governed by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5), name changes are typically made in accordance with the Illinois Code of Civil Procedure (735 ILCS 5). The statute provides that a name change for a minor child is possible if the court finds “by clear and convincing evidence that the change is necessary to serve the best interest of the child.” A separate provision in the Illinois Parentage Act of 2015 (750 ILCS 46) allows for a child’s name to be changed if both parents agree, though this law is typically utilized in cases of unmarried parents or when parentage is in question.

Although same-sex marriage is legal throughout the United States and Illinois law was recently amended to allow same-sex parents to become legal parents to any child born or conceived during their marriage, there are still certain issues that same-sex parents can face that do not affect heterosexual parents or, if they do affect heterosexual parents, do not affect them as widely or as profoundly. In the divorce process, same-sex couples are treated identically to heterosexual couples – or ideally, should be. Sometimes, a biased judge can make unfair rulings, requiring the couple to take time to appeal the ruling in order to receive fair treatment. If you are a parent in a same-sex relationship who is divorced, preparing to divorce, or working through another legal issue like adopting a child or modifying an established court order, discuss any specific issues you might face with your family lawyer before your proceed.

Legal Parentage of Your Children

In 2015, the Illinois Parentage Act was altered to be more inclusive of same-sex couples. Now, any child born or conceived during a couple's marriage, regardless of the couple's genders, is legally the child of both parents.

If you have been divorced for many years, you are probably fairly comfortable navigating the world of parenting after a divorce. If you are recently divorced, you might still be trying to determine what works and what does not work in this field. Co-parenting is a collaborative effort and the decisions you and your former partner make are generally driven by your child's academic, social, and medical needs. For many Illinois families, a young adult attending college after high school is one of the events that requires careful planning and cooperation between divorced parents.

Although your son or daughter is legally an adult at this age, it is not uncommon for you and your former partner to continue to support him or her financially. In fact, there may be a clause in your divorce settlement requiring one or both of you to contribute to his or her college expenses. But even if the financial aspect of your roles as parents in your child's college education is squared away, there are other issues you need to clarify. Who will drop your child off to campus? In which home will he or she stay during school breaks? How will expenses outside tuition and fees that your child incurs be handled?

Remember, Your Child Is an Adult