Do Not Let Friend's Experience Discourage You From Divorce

 Posted on March 24, 2018 in Divorce

When you are considering divorce, you will have many questions about the process and its eventual outcome, such as:

• Will the divorce make me happier?;
• Will I be able to support myself on my own?; and
• Will I still be able to see my children?

You probably know someone who has been through a divorce and may figure that this person can help you answer these questions. That person may tell you horror stories about how miserable the process was and how unhappy he or she is now. However, it is unwise to establish expectations for your divorce based on someone else’s divorce experience. There are too many ways that your divorce may be different from that of a friend:

1. Personalities at Work: A high conflict divorce is traumatic but not the experience that everyone goes through. Spouses can have an amicable divorce by starting with a spirit of cooperation. If your friend had a contentious divorce, you should consider whether your friend has a personality prone towards conflict.
2. Issues at Stake: Valuable marital properties and children are the factors most likely to cause tension during divorce negotiations. Your marriage could be different from your friend’s marriage in this regard. You may have less income and assets to fight over or a better understanding of how they will be divided. Not having children as dependents would also make your divorce much simpler.
3. Different Laws: Depending on when or where your friend divorced, you may not be dealing with the same divorce laws. Each state has its own laws regarding divorce and parenting plans. Even within Illinois, the state has made significant changes in the last couple of years to its laws regarding child support and the allocation of parental responsibilities. The new laws may be more favorable to you.
4. Representation: The quality of your friend’s divorce lawyer affected his or her divorce experience. Your friend may have hired a lawyer who did not properly represent him or her during the process. Afterward, your friend was left with a divorce settlement that does not satisfy his or her needs. With proper research, you can find a better divorce attorney than the one your friend hired.

Your Own Needs

It is beneficial to identify goals before starting your divorce process. They should guide your decision to get a divorce and which issues you prioritize during the negotiations. However, you must make sure that your goals match your own needs and not what you think you may need because of someone else's divorce. A Kane County divorce attorney with Goostree Law Group can help set goals that ensure your future happiness and prosperity. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/splitopia/201701/good-divorce-advice-resist-the-urge-compare