The Divorce Grieving Process: Four Signs You are on a Healthy Path to Healing

 Posted on February 14, 2017 in Divorce

Divorce is different for everyone who experiences it, and the length of time it takes to move through the grieving process can vary greatly from person to person. We all hear a variety of accounts from friends, family members, and co-workers of their personal experiences with divorce, but none of them can ever prepare you for how you feel when the event actually happens for you. Even more unpredictable is how you will end up coping, how long it will take to process the loss, and ultimately, how long it will take to finally heal from the whole ordeal.

Signs You are Moving in the Right Direction

Experts from Psychology Today report that a person’s emotional recovery time depends on a number of factors. The grieving process is not cut and dry, and it does not unfold the same way for everyone. Whether you saw the end of your marriage coming, you were abandoned, or were abused can all affect the length of your recovery time. Whether you share children together, are unable to support yourself financially, or experienced infidelity can also impact how long it takes for you to navigate the loss.

No matter what the circumstances of your divorce are, however, experts have observed certain traits, habits, and signs in a person’s approach to healing that indicate they are on a healthy, productive path to recovery. Here are four signs you are on your way to letting go and moving on:

1. You are seeking help. This is the pinnacle of healing. Whether you build a personal support system of friends, neighbors, and family member who you can turn to in time of need or join a local support group, recognizing you need help and reaching out to ask for it is a sign that you are on your way to healing. A blend of personal plus professional support is ideal for creating the network you need to draw strength, comfort, and resilience from.

2. You accept the stage of grief you are in. If you are allowing yourself to feel the wide range of ever evolving emotions that come with the loss of divorce and are not rushing yourself through the process, you are coping in a healthy way. If you are pretending to feel better than you actually are and avoiding your emotions or shutting them off, you may be delaying the healing process.

3. You genuinely want to feel better. When it comes to any loss in life, you are not going to heal or feel better until you genuinely want to and are ready to. The old adage rings true: Sometimes things have to get a lot worse before they get better. It seems that when things feel the worst, we realize our strong desire to move on and make a change.

4. You are doing what you can to learn about your grief. Psychology Today tells us that a number of individuals who journal and consult self-help resources have a more enlightening, productive experience working through the grief process. This is because tracking, studying, and examining our emotions helps us recognize them for what they are so we can find closure and move forward.

According to pioneer psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the five mental stages of loss are denial anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Be aware that you may not experience those stages in order. In fact, you are likely to jump around from stage to stage over periods of time, and certain triggers may send you back to a particular stage that you thought you were already over.

Contact Our Compassionate Attorneys

The grief process you experience at the end of your marriage is complex and emotionally draining, but the right resources and a solid support system can make a significant difference in the overall experience. As you prepare for the legal process that accompanies the divorce, speak with a skilled Kane County divorce lawyer who can help protect your rights in a court of law while you focus on the healing process. Call the Goostree Law Group today at 630-584-4800 for a personal consultation.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/201009/whats-normal-post-divorce-grief

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemplating-divorce/201505/how-know-if-you-re-stuck-in-your-grief-post-divorce