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Has Divorce Made You an Overbearing Parent?

Posted on in Children of divorce

Has Divorce Made You an Overbearing Parent?Children of divorce need their parents’ attention to console them and remind them that they will always be loved. If you are worried about your divorce causing lasting emotional damage to your children, active parenting will allow you to watch for signs of emotional stress. However, it is possible to be too active in your parenting, to the point that you may harm your relationship with your child. You need to find a balance in which you are attentive to your children’s needs without becoming controlling or overbearing.

How Divorced Parents Smother Their Children

An overly involved parent can smother their child with positive and negative attention – both of which can be unhealthy:

  • Positive attention may be spoiling them with gifts or being overprotective of them.
  • Negative attention may be harsh punishments for misbehavior or setting strict rules.

It may not be your intention, but smothering your children is emotionally manipulating them to serve your own desires. Your children may become overly attached and dependent upon you, which hinders their maturation. Your overbearing parenting could also have the opposite effect, causing your children to rebel against you.

How to Not Be an Overbearing Parent

Part of growing up is learning how to make responsible decisions for yourself and gaining an identity that is separate from your parents. Parents want their children to make the right decisions and may need to correct them before they make a mistake with lasting consequences. However, children need the confidence to make their own decisions without worrying about your approval. They need to learn about themselves and what they want, which may be different from what you want. As a parent, you can nurture this by:

  • Allowing them to spend time with their friends
  • Respecting their privacy
  • Giving them the chance to prove that they can be trusted to make good decisions
  • Accepting that they will make mistakes and learn from those mistakes

Contact a St. Charles, Illinois, Divorce Lawyer

Without your spouse, your children are unquestionably the most important people in your life. It is easy to convince yourself that what you want for your children is what is best for them, such as you having more parenting time or controlling how they are raised. A parenting agreement is supposed to protect the best interests of the children above all else. A Kane County divorce lawyer at Goostree Law Group will help you create a parenting plan that puts your children first. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.


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