How Divorced Friends Can and Cannot Help During Your Divorce

 Posted on September 29, 2018 in Divorce

When you have decided to divorce, it is logical to seek advice from a friend who has already gone through a divorce. However, you should understand what is appropriate for you to request from your friend. Someone who has previously divorced understands the stress and emotional pain you are going through. That experience does not extend to legal decisions about your divorce.

Not Your Lawyer

Going through a divorce does not make someone a legal expert. Your friend may have learned about the process, but that does not qualify him or her to advise you about your divorce. You should not compare your divorce to your friend’s divorce because there are numerous factors that may differentiate your cases, such as:

• The amount and types of marital properties you have;
• The number of children you have;
• Whether you want a majority of the parenting time with your children;
• Who has a greater income in your marriage;
• What stage you are at in your life;
• If you reside in a different state with its own divorce laws; and
• If the divorce laws have changed since your friend’s divorce.

Your friend may have been pleased with how his or her divorce was resolved, but that does not mean that the same strategies will work for you. Only a divorce attorney can evaluate your case and determine how to get the best outcome.

Pillar of Support

A close friend who has previously divorced can be empathetic and supportive in ways that no one else can. He or she can relate when you talk about your loneliness and fears about the future. While your friend cannot solve all of your problems, he or she can:

• Be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on;
• Understand how your divorce affects your normal life;
• Help you with daily tasks that you may not have time for; and
• Suggest resources that may provide emotional support.

Try not to draw your friend into the details and drama of your divorce. You may put your friend in the awkward position of picking sides in your divorce. Your friend may still be recovering from his or her own divorce and not want the additional stress of being emotionally invested in your divorce.

Your Personal Divorce

Your friends are there to support you personally during your divorce, but you should keep them separate from the legal matters. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can be your legal guide and advocate during your divorce. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/help-friend-divorce/