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How to Answer Your Child’s Biggest Divorce Questions

Posted on in Children of divorce

How to Answer Your Child’s Biggest Divorce QuestionsWhen you break the news of your divorce to your children, you should be prepared for them to ask several questions. You need to be considerate of their feelings when answering these questions because a poorly worded answer could make them more upset. Keep in mind that:

  • Your children are most concerned about how your divorce affects them.
  • They need your reassurance without you making promises that you cannot keep.
  • There are some details about your divorce that your children should not know.

You can reasonably expect that your children will ask you some variation of the following questions:

  1. Why Are You Getting Divorced?: When answering this question, it is important to convey that your children did not cause the divorce and that you will both continue being their parents. Say that it was a difficult decision but what you feel you need to do. Your children do not need to hear about the reasons you are unhappy in your marriage or events that led to your divorce.
  2. Do You Still Love Me?: Getting a divorce usually means that you no longer love your spouse. This may cause your children to wonder whether you could stop loving them. Obviously, the relationship between a parent and child is different than between spouses. Reassure them that you will always love them, even if you do not feel the same way anymore about their other parent.
  3. Will You Get Back Together?: You should be confident in your decision to divorce before you tell your children about it. Do not tease them with the hope that you may reconcile your relationship. Tell them that you will not change your minds and that your breakup is permanent.
  4. Where Will We Live?: This can be a tricky question because the answer depends on how you divide parenting time and whether you decide to keep your marital home. The best answer is that they will have two homes – one with each parent. An older child may ask whether you will be moving out of your current home. Be honest with them if you do not know the answer but let them know that your decision will be based on what is best for them.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

Your children will continue to have questions about your divorce and how it will affect them, and you may have your own questions about it. A St. Charles, Illinois, divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group will help you figure out the allocation of parental responsibilities as part of your divorce. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.


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