How to Manage a Divorce When Your Spouse is Prone to Conflict

 Posted on January 29, 2021 in Divorce

The divorce process is rarely, if ever, a pleasant experience, but not every divorce is an extraordinarily contentious fight. Even if your spouse has a tendency toward creating drama and conflict, there are a few things that you can do to prevent the situation from getting out of hand. Keeping your divorce as civil as possible is in your best interest, as well as that of your spouse, because with more conflict comes more time, energy, and money spent on resolving the issues at hand.

Think Before You Speak

When you are going through a divorce, you and your spouse will each go through a wide range of emotions, and you are likely to be at different points on the emotional spectrum at any given time. There is a good chance that your spouse will say or do at least a few things along the way that upset you, some of which may even be intentional. The same is probably true in reverse. Before reacting, however, it is a good idea to pause and take a mental step back.

By taking the time to slow down and look at the situation from your spouse’s perspective, you might gain a better understanding of what he or she is saying and trying to accomplish. You might not agree, of course, but by taking some time to collect your thoughts, you can respond calmly and logically instead of responding emotionally and making the situation worse. If you are talking on the phone or in person, take a few deep breaths before you say anything. If the conversation is via email or text, wait a few hours rather than firing back an angry response.

Minimize Opportunities for Conflict

It is not always easy to admit, but not everyone is a reasonable person. Some people thrive on creating conflict and drama. If your spouse is the type of person who likes picking fights, even if it is just with you, you may need to reduce your contact with him or her during your divorce. The situation cannot turn into a fight unless you engage and respond.

Learn to back away from discussions that are starting to take a turn for the worse. You are not obligated to answer every text message or to take every call. You have no control over your spouse’s actions or reactions, but you can control your own. Do not add fuel to the proverbial fire.

Contact a St. Charles Family Lawyer

In some cases, the best way to eliminate personal conflict with your spouse is to filter all of your communication through your respective attorneys. If this seems to be the direction in which your divorce is heading, an experienced Kane County divorce attorney from Goostree Law Group can help. Call 630-584-4800 for a free consultation and discussion about your case today.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=2489&ChapterID=51

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/hci-articles/who-are-high-conflict-people