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Preventing Divorce Conflict From Affecting Your Children

Posted on in Children of Divorce

St. Charles family law attorneyDuring a divorce, each spouse is likely to experience a range of emotions, including grief, anger, regret, and feelings of betrayal. Sadly, the typical divorce process often exacerbates these negative emotions by seemingly placing the divorcing parties on opposite sides. Tempers can flare, and each spouse may focus on what they will walk away with once the divorce process is complete rather than working toward the best possible outcome for both parties.

When you add children into the mix, a contentious situation can become even more difficult, especially for the children who still love both of their parents. In fact, the damage can be so extensive that it carries on into the children’s adult lives. However, this does not have to be your children’s reality. You and your spouse can choose differently in your divorce and take an approach that focuses on your children’s interests.

Creating a Child-Centered Divorce

It is not impossible to create a supportive and protective environment for your children during and after the divorce process. Some parents are able to resolve their differences through alternative dispute resolution and work together to reach an agreement that prioritizes the children’s needs. Even if such an approach does not work for you, and you need to resolve your divorce through litigation, there are still things you can do to keep your children’s needs front and center, including:

  • Never threaten to withhold parenting time, especially if your children are present.

  • Resist the temptation to ask your children about your spouse’s relationships or personal life.

  • Do not make negative comments or references about your spouse when your children are around.

  • Keep the financial matters of the divorce between you and your spouse.

  • Do not ask your children to deliver messages to your spouse, even if they are just about parenting time or important meetings.

  • Keep any new relationships you might have out of your children’s lives until they have had the chance to adjust to the divorce.

  • Seek professional help if you feel lonely, depressed, angry, or otherwise out of sorts because of the divorce.

  • Keep conversations short and civil when making parenting time exchanges or discussing child-related matters with the other parent.

  • Do not rely on your children to comfort you or make you feel better.

  • Allow your children to continue to be children.

  • Attend your children’s important events, even if the other parent plans to be there.

  • Do not attempt to go through the divorce process without experienced legal assistance.

Contact Our Kane County Family Law Attorneys

Perhaps the best way to ensure that your child’s best interests are protected is to enlist the help of a qualified divorce lawyer. Contact an experienced St. Charles family law attorney from the Goostree Law Group to discuss your situation and your options for moving forward. Call 630-584-4800 to schedule a free consultation today.



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