Resolving to Improve as a Parent for the New Year

 Posted on December 29, 2017 in Children of Divorce

New Year’s resolutions are about finding ways to improve yourself, with the noticeable passage of time as the impetus. If you are concerned about your deteriorating relationship with your children after your divorce or separation, you can resolve to be a better parent. You have a finite amount of time to form an emotional bond with your children while they are still at the age when they look towards you for guidance. Here are five tips that may help you improve as a parent for the new year:

1. Increase Contact: Your children need to notice your presence in order to develop a relationship with you. You can try to increase your share of parenting time, though it may be impractical depending upon distance and schedules. There are alternatives to physical contact with your children, such as phone calls, video chats and emails. Electronic communication allows continued interaction without worrying about transportation or clearing your schedule for most of the day.
2. Show Interest: When you are with your children, focus on activities or interaction that they want. Ask them questions about themselves and listen to what they say. Encourage them to come to you if they are worried about something and need advice or support. You will have more success trying to integrate into their lives than forcing them to do what you want.
3. Be Persistent Yet Patient: Your children may not immediately respond to your efforts to improve your relationship, particularly if they are approaching their teenage years. They may be unfamiliar with your new attitude and unsure of how to respond. Keep trying to reach them, while figuring out which interactions are most successful. However, do not be overly aggressive. Trying too hard may drive them away.
4. Play Nice with Your Co-Parent: If the children primarily live with the other parent, he or she will largely affect their opinion about you. Be cordial and accommodating with your former spouse, and he or she will hopefully reciprocate by encouraging your children to maintain a relationship with you. Cooperating as parents will help you both in successfully raising your children.
5. Follow Through: The biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that people tend to forget about them after a couple of months. You cannot afford to do that with your children because they would feel betrayed and may never again trust you enough to have a close relationship. Once you have established a new pattern of contact and interaction, you need to continue it.

Building a Relationship

Adjusting your parenting agreement can grant you more time with your children. A Kane County family law attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you petition to modify your parenting agreement. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.liveabout.com/tips-to-help-restore-a-fractured-parent-child-relationship-1103085