Tag Archives: children of divorce

Four Advantages to Being a Single ParentPeople often think of being a single parent as a hardship that both parent and child must overcome. To be sure, it is optimal for children to grow up in a two-parent household. Being a single parent after divorce means no more sharing parental tasks when the children are with you. You have complete responsibility for the children during your parenting time. You will likely have a tighter budget because you are primarily relying on your own income. Your children may have a difficult time adjusting to living in a different home with each parent. You can help yourself through single parenthood by understanding that there are still some advantages:

  1. Your Home Can Be Less Hostile: A bad marriage puts stress on yourself and your children because there is frequent tension that prevents people from relaxing. Simple tasks can become daunting because they start an argument between you and your spouse. You and your co-parent will each be happier apart, which will create a healthier home for you and your children.
  2. Your Children Receive Your Full Attention: When in a bad marriage, your relationship with your spouse distracts you from your children and takes energy away from your parenting. Though you have more work as a single parent, you can focus more of your attention on your children when they are with you. This may eventually make parenting feel easier for you, and your children will definitely benefit from it.
  3. You Have More Control Over Your Parenting: You and your former spouse may have argued about how to raise your children. While it is important to maintain consistent parenting after divorce, you have more control over the specific rules and expectations in your household. You can choose how strict you are with your children’s bedtime, how often you will go out for meals, and what shows are appropriate for them to watch. Your co-parent is not there to undermine your rules.
  4. Your Children Become More Resilient: One of the keys to being a single parent is sharing some responsibility with your children. They can help you with certain household chores, such as washing dishes or taking out the trash. If you cannot afford to give them the same allowance, they may learn to save the money they receive or earn more money by helping neighbors. It is healthy to take on responsibility as a child, as long as it does not interfere with their education or ability to have a happy childhood.

Contact a St. Charles Divorce Attorney

Being a successful single parent requires more planning and attention than when you were married. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you create a parenting plan that makes your job more manageable. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

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Comforting Children in New Home After DivorceChildren of divorce can have difficulty adjusting to living at a parent’s new home during scheduled parenting time. An unfamiliar house or apartment is a physical manifestation of the changes happening in a child’s life after divorce. The parent in the new home must create a familiar and comforting environment for the children. The other parent should try to put the children at ease about the new living environment. Both parents should cooperate to make a smoother transition, for the betterment of their children if not for each others’ sakes.

Preparations

Helping children adjust to a new parental home starts with the other parent at the primary home. Having two homes is an unfamiliar concept that likely makes the children nervous. It is also unavoidable as long as both sides have parenting time. Children can grow more comfortable with the concept and gain a sense of control by helping:

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Resolving to Improve as a Parent for the New YearNew Year’s resolutions are about finding ways to improve yourself, with the noticeable passage of time as the impetus. If you are concerned about your deteriorating relationship with your children after your divorce or separation, you can resolve to be a better parent. You have a finite amount of time to form an emotional bond with your children while they are still at the age when they look towards you for guidance. Here are five tips that may help you improve as a parent for the new year:

  1. Increase Contact: Your children need to notice your presence in order to develop a relationship with you. You can try to increase your share of parenting time, though it may be impractical depending upon distance and schedules. There are alternatives to physical contact with your children, such as phone calls, video chats and emails. Electronic communication allows continued interaction without worrying about transportation or clearing your schedule for most of the day.
  2. Show Interest: When you are with your children, focus on activities or interaction that they want. Ask them questions about themselves and listen to what they say. Encourage them to come to you if they are worried about something and need advice or support. You will have more success trying to integrate into their lives than forcing them to do what you want.
  3. Be Persistent Yet Patient: Your children may not immediately respond to your efforts to improve your relationship, particularly if they are approaching their teenage years. They may be unfamiliar with your new attitude and unsure of how to respond. Keep trying to reach them, while figuring out which interactions are most successful. However, do not be overly aggressive. Trying too hard may drive them away.
  4. Play Nice with Your Co-Parent: If the children primarily live with the other parent, he or she will largely affect their opinion about you. Be cordial and accommodating with your former spouse, and he or she will hopefully reciprocate by encouraging your children to maintain a relationship with you. Cooperating as parents will help you both in successfully raising your children.
  5. Follow Through: The biggest problem with New Year’s resolutions is that people tend to forget about them after a couple of months. You cannot afford to do that with your children because they would feel betrayed and may never again trust you enough to have a close relationship. Once you have established a new pattern of contact and interaction, you need to continue it.

Building a Relationship

Adjusting your parenting agreement can grant you more time with your children. A Kane County family law attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you petition to modify your parenting agreement. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

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St. Charles family law attorneysAny divorce proceeding can lead to serious emotional and psychological reactions by either spouse. When children are involved, however, the implications of divorce can be even more serious. Many children of divorce often struggle with their new reality and may display behavioral issues, uncontrolled anger, or symptoms of depression or anxiety. Divorced parents may be left wondering if there is anything the court can do in regard to ordering therapy or counseling and splitting the costs of such services. According to the law in Illinois, a family court can order counseling for children of divorce depending on the family’s circumstances.

Custody Evaluations

When a divorcing couple is struggling to reach an agreement regarding parenting arrangements for their child, such decisions are often left to the court. In doing so, the court has the authority to appoint an appropriate professional to conduct an evaluation of the child and each parent. These evaluations may include interviews, tests, and any other accepted methods of determining the child’s needs and his or her best interests. In addition to the court’s appointed professional, a professional retained by either parent may also conduct such an investigation at the court’s direction. The costs for such evaluations—if they are not conducted by an agency of the state—may be divided between the parties in a manner that is fair and equitable.

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Kane County family law attorneyWhen you are a divorced parent, figuring out how to divide holiday parenting time can be very difficult. It is especially challenging if you and the other parent are not able to communicate effectively. Any parent who has a healthy relationship with their child, however, will want to spend time together during important family holidays like Christmas. Doing so is possible with some advance planning and cooperation between you and your ex-spouse.

You and your former partner may already have an agreement in place regarding where your child will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. A holiday parenting schedule is often included in a court-approved parenting plan. In many situations, parents—especially those who live relatively far from one another—will enjoy Christmas parenting time in alternating years. For example, your child may spend Christmas with you this year and, next year, he or she will spend Christmas with the other parent.

If you and the other parent live close enough, however, your child may be able to spend part of the holiday with each of you. Of course, this may be more complicated in terms of transportation and scheduling meals with extended family, but the time with your child on Christmas is worth the extra trouble.

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Goostree Law Group

Goostree Law Group

 555 S. Randall Road, Suite 200
St. Charles, IL 60174

 630-584-4800

 1770 Park Street, Suite 205
Naperville IL 60563

 630-364-4046

 400 S. County Farm Road, Suite 300
Wheaton, IL 60187

 630-407-1777

Our Illinois divorce attorneys represent clients in Kane County, DuPage County, Kendall County and DeKalb County, including Geneva, Batavia, St.Charles, Wayne, Wasco, Elburn, Virgil, Lily Lake, Aurora, North Aurora, Elgin, South Elgin, Bartlett, Crystal Lake, Gilberts, Millcreek, Maple Park, Kaneville, LaFox, Yorkville, Oswego, Plano, Sugar Grove, Big Rock, Bristol, Newark, DeKalb, Sycamore, Naperville, Wheaton, West Chicago, Winfield, Warrenville, Downers Grove, Lombard, Oak Brook, Streamwood, Hoffman Estates, Barrington, South Barrington, Lake Barrington, Schaumburg, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Plainfield, Sandwich, Yorkville and many other cities.

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