call us630-584-4800

Free Consultations

Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in deciding to divorce

Posted on in Legal Separation

Kane County legal separation attorneyNo matter how mutual the decision may be to end a marriage, choosing to divorce is never an easy undertaking. Even the smoothest divorces mean big changes for both parties, and depending on financial circumstances and whether or not children are involved, those changes can have a ripple effect that impacts everyone in the household for some time to come. Divorce is just as much emotionally taxing as it is financially, compounding the burden for the entire family.

Given the potentially overwhelming nature of ending a marriage, it is understandable why some couples want to avoid the divorce process altogether. In fact, this is often a driving force behind legal separations, although a separation is often only a temporary solution and may not be an effective one for every couple. If you and your spouse want to delay the divorce for more practical reasons rather than emotional reasons, however, you may find that legal separation serves as a productive, beneficial option for both of you. 

Possible Advantages to Legal Separation in Illinois

The following three motivators often encourage couples to pursue separation as a stepping stone or alternative to divorce:

St. Charles IL divorce lawyerThe prospect of divorce is never an appealing one, especially when it feels as though so much is at stake for both parties. From saying goodbye to the relationship and months or years of memories you and your spouse share to dividing belongings and making new living arrangements, the outcome of any divorce, no matter how large or small, results in sacrifice. The experience can be even more emotionally taxing when children and pets are involved, further complicating the question of whether or not to officially call it quits.

Signs You May Be Able to Reconcile

Marriage and family relationship experts identify certain factors that may make reconciliation possible, should both parties be willing to work on the relationship. These include mutual love and trust, good communication, and a sense of safety where both parties are concerned. A sense of safety can manifest itself in a number of ways, including mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially. Other signs that you may be able to salvage your marriage are the presence of shared interests and obvious reciprocal partnership. If you are both faithful to one another, express genuine commitment to the marriage, and possess active, common interests, it may be beneficial for you both to explore the option to stay together.

Indicators it May Be Time to Leave

Some red flags that experts consider unredeemable hindrances to a marriage include a lack of common goals or shared interests, infidelity, and a general lack of trust. The absence of trust harms a partner’s sense of safety and security, and if there is no sense of safety present in the marriage, an ongoing, unhealthy balance exists. A pattern of pathological dishonesty is another big indicator that it may be time to leave. It is usually a combination of these negatives that causes the quality of the marriage to deteriorate over time, finally bringing the unhealthy nature of the relationship to one or both spouse’s attention. For some, the realization hits hard and fast, while it slowly sneaks up on others. 

Posted on in Divorce

Answering Common Doubts When Deciding to DivorceThere are situations where the decision to divorce is fairly obvious and the best choice for your own health and safety. Divorce is necessary if you have an abusive spouse that is a danger to yourself and your children. It is also understandable if your spouse has betrayed you in a way that you do not feel you can forgive, such as infidelity. However, there are many instances when the two spouses are unsure whether divorce is the right decision. Once spouses start the process of divorce, it is very rare that they change their minds and continue their marriage. It is normal to have doubts when considering divorce, but you must identify whether they are enough of a reason to stay in your marriage. Here are three reasons spouses hesitate to divorce and possible arguments against those doubts:

  1. The Divorce Will Hurt My Children: It is undeniable that your divorce will affect your children and likely in a negative way. There will be tears, anger and general confusion about why you decided to divorce. However, you must consider what damage your unhealthy marriage is doing to your children. Are you openly fighting with your spouse? Are you often agitated because you are unhappy in your marriage? What example is your marriage setting for your children? You may become a better parent by eliminating the negativity of your marriage.
  2. What If I Never Find a New Significant Other?: For some people, the idea of being alone is more frightening than being in a bad marriage. There is no guarantee that you will find another long-term relationship after your divorce. That is a variable that you cannot control. You do know that you are unhappy in your marriage, and you can control this by ending your marriage. You have a greater chance at happiness by being single again than by staying in a situation you know is making you miserable.
  3. The Divorce Will Be Too Expensive: There is a significant cost to getting a divorce, between legal fees and dividing your marital properties. During divorce negotiations, you are looking for a settlement that will give you the financial stability to live on your own. The longer your marriage goes on, the more costly an eventual divorce may become. You will compile more properties that must be divided. Delaying your divorce until your marriage is untenable may mean allowing your relationship to degrade to the point that you have a high-conflict divorce, which is usually more expensive.

An Important Decision

Sometimes, trying to fix your marriage is a better decision than hastily getting a divorce. However, you should not dismiss divorce as a legitimate option. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can discuss the possible benefits of getting a divorce. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Back to Top