We all know how challenging interpersonal relationships can be. Unfortunately, difficult situations like divorce and child-related legal proceedings can bring out the worst in people, making such relationships even more trying. Thanks to modern technology, individuals are more readily accessible to one another and connected like never before. Thus, it is easier than ever for your soon-to-be ex-spouse to lash out and send an angry text or email, tempting you to respond in a similar manner. Doing so, however, can be detrimental to your case, so it is important to keep your focus on moving forward.

Responding Is Not Always Necessary

When you receive hostile communication from your former partner or your child’s other parent, keep in mind that the email or text has no power over you unless you allow it to have this power. Angry messages may be an attempt by the sender to vent or relieve his or her own frustration, or they may be intended to rile up your emotions. Before deciding how to respond, step back and determine if a response is even required or appropriate.

See Through the Hostility

Although it is easier said than done, you need to break down the email or text to determine what actual issues, if any, are being raised. Your spouse may be attempting to address a legitimate concern, but he or she has buried the problem in vitriol and emotion. If you cannot decipher what issue needs to be addressed, responding is probably pointless and unnecessary.

If you have spent any time on social media over the last few months, you have undoubtedly seen your friends and loved ones expressing their displeasure over the challenges that 2020 has presented. Among the most stressful of these challenges are those that are linked to the outbreak of the novel coronavirus. As the COVID-19 pandemic made its way across the country, entire cities and states shut down large portions of their infrastructure starting in March. Now that we are in August, things are slowly beginning to open up again—albeit amidst fears of a second wave of coronavirus infections.

Over the last few months, many couples and families have spent a great deal of time in close quarters with one another. For some families, the time together has proven to be a blessing. For others, it has felt like a curse. If you are among the latter group—or if a divorce was already a possibility for you before the COVID-19 lockdown—you may be wondering if you can still file for divorce during these unpredictable times. Presuming you intend to file your divorce petition in Kane County, there are ways for you to get a divorce even as the COVID-19 crisis continues.

Kane County Courthouses Are Open

The first thing you need to know about getting a divorce in Kane County is that the Kane County court system is officially open for business. On June 1, 2020, all of the county’s courthouses reopened to provide limited services, which includes family law cases. This means that judges, clerks, and other courthouse personnel have been back at work for over two months and cases that were already in process are now moving once again.

Someone who has a greater income than his or her spouse can have an advantage during a divorce. If each spouse is left with only their individual resources, the wealthier spouse would be able to hire a more expensive lawyer, pay for other advisers, and better afford a prolonged legal battle. Illinois tries to level the playing field during a divorce by allowing someone to request interim attorney fees and costs from their spouse if they cannot afford these expenses. This divorce tool is a financial boon or burden, depending on which side of the court order you are on.

Receiving Interim Fees

As the name suggests, you will file for interim attorney fees and costs while the case is still ongoing. This request is strictly meant to pay for your legal fees related to your divorce. If you need help paying for your living expenses, you need to file for temporary spousal maintenance. When deciding whether to grant interim attorney fees, the court will consider:

Dividing debts from your marriage can be one of the trickier parts of a divorce agreement. As an equitable division state, Illinois requires divorcees to split their debts in a way that is fair to both parties. Giving each spouse half of the debt may not be an equitable agreement, and a divorce court has the right to divide debt in a way that it deems to be equitable. For instance, a spouse with greater assets after the divorce may also receive a greater share of the debt. Divorcees also must consider whether a debt belongs to an individual or both parties.

Individual Debts

A debt belongs to an individual spouse if the creditor holds only that spouse liable for repaying the debt. You can usually identify an individual debt if:

• It was created before you were married or after you were legally separated; or
• The debt contract lists only one person’s name as the owner.

Student loans and individual credit cards are common sources of non-marital debt, as long as they follow the above criteria. You likely want to avoid agreeing to pay for a debt that you are not legally obligated to pay. If one spouse has significantly greater individual debt, he or she may receive a greater share of the marital properties to compensate.

Many long-term marriages share traits that create a strong relationship, such as respect, dedication, admiration, and patience. You cannot know whether these attributes will develop and sustain themselves in your marriage, but your interactions before your marriage can foreshadow how you will get along in your marriage. You can more easily predict when a marriage is destined for divorce than when it will succeed. Some couples enter ill-advised marriages because they ignore warning signs of incompatibility or make hasty decisions.

Social Pressure

You may become more anxious to get married as you grow older because:

• You fear that your chances of attracting a spouse will diminish with age;
• You want to start a family while you are still biologically capable of doing so;
• Your family is asking about your relationships and whether you have thought about marriage; and
• Your friends are getting married, leaving you as one of the only unmarried people in your group of friends.

An unexpected pregnancy may also pressure you into marriage out of a sense of responsibility. Pressuring yourself into marriage can cause you to ignore whether you are compatible with your potential spouse. You settle for someone who meets your minimum qualifications for marriage instead of choosing someone with whom you can develop a strong relationship.