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Posted on in Divorce

Signs That You Are Healing from Divorce GriefThe grief that you feel from getting divorced is likely painful but will not last forever. There will come a day when you are not consumed by emotions related to your divorce, whether they are sadness or anger. Unfortunately, there is no defined timeline for how long it takes to recover from divorce grief and reach the “acceptance” stage. Each person and divorce are different, and some people need more time to process their grief than others – even if they are part of the same divorce. Do not measure your divorce recovery by how long you think it should take or how long it took someone else. Instead, look for these signs that you are starting to recover from divorce:

  1. You No Longer Obsess Over Your Divorce: You cannot erase the memory of your marriage. There will be instances that remind you of your marriage. People still grieving over their divorce struggle to stop thinking about their marriage when they are faced with a reminder. One bad memory can easily lead to another, which dominates their thoughts and affects their mood. Once you have accepted your divorce, reminders of your marriage should no longer cause your thoughts to spiral out of control.
  2. You Can Be Honest About Your Marriage: People often lie to themselves during a divorce in order to protect themselves from pain. One of the biggest lies is that there was nothing happy about their marriage. People forget their good memories and focus on their bad memories, which helps them justify the divorce to themselves. You will eventually be able to admit to yourself that there was both good and bad in your marriage and that your divorce does not erase those good times.
  3. You Are Less Interested in Your Ex’s Personal Life: Divorcees have a bad habit of following the life of their former spouse and comparing it to their own life. Your ex’s ability to start new relationships and find happiness may make you jealous and resentful. When you have accepted your divorce, you will realize that your former spouse’s personal life does not affect your ability to find your own happiness.
  4. You Can Separate New Relationships from Your Marriage: Some divorcees start dating again before they have finished grieving their marriage. These new relationships often do not last because the divorcee is driven by an urge to replace their marital relationship. People who have accepted their divorce no longer define their new relationships by comparing them to their previous marriage.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

It can be a struggle to process your divorce grief on your own while also working through the legal process. Some people find a divorce coach to be invaluable. A St. Charles, Illinois, divorce lawyer at Goostree Law Group can work with our in-house divorce coach to help you through the process. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

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Posted on in Divorce

Dealing with Post-Divorce GriefCompleting your divorce and moving on to the next stage of your life can cause a mix of emotions – some of them good. You may feel relief from marriage being over and excitement about your future. However, divorcees can be caught off guard by unexpected negative emotions. You feel refreshed and optimistic one day and depressed and doubtful the next. You may think, “Divorce is what I wanted, so why do I feel sad?” Even when a divorce frees you from an unhappy marriage, it is natural to mourn the end of your marriage and fear the changes in your life. Understanding these emotions is one of the final steps in healing from your divorce.

Common Emotions

How you react after a divorce may be similar to the commonly known five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Rather than the death of a person, you are experiencing the death of your marriage, which was the most important relationship in your life to this point. However, your post-divorce grief does not always follow an ordered flow chart. People’s divorces differ, so their emotions differ, as well. Common negative feelings after a divorce include:

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divorce grieving, Kane County divorce attorneysDivorce is different for everyone who experiences it, and the length of time it takes to move through the grieving process can vary greatly from person to person. We all hear a variety of accounts from friends, family members, and co-workers of their personal experiences with divorce, but none of them can ever prepare you for how you feel when the event actually happens for you. Even more unpredictable is how you will end up coping, how long it will take to process the loss, and ultimately, how long it will take to finally heal from the whole ordeal.

Signs You are Moving in the Right Direction

Experts from Psychology Today report that a person’s emotional recovery time depends on a number of factors. The grieving process is not cut and dry, and it does not unfold the same way for everyone. Whether you saw the end of your marriage coming, you were abandoned, or were abused can all affect the length of your recovery time. Whether you share children together, are unable to support yourself financially, or experienced infidelity can also impact how long it takes for you to navigate the loss.

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