What If My Child Refuses Court-Ordered Visitation?

 Posted on May 16, 2025 in Family Law

It is a familiar scene for many divorced parents: the suitcase is by the door, the parenting time schedule says it is time for the visit, but your child refuses to go. You are now stuck in the middle, trying to balance your child’s emotions with a court order you are legally required to follow.

What are you supposed to do? Can you be blamed if your child will not cooperate? Should you force him or her to go? Or will that just make things worse?

These situations are more common than you might think. Illinois courts expect parents to comply with parenting time orders, but the courts also understand that children are not always easy to persuade. 

Navigating this tricky situation requires both compassion and a solid understanding of your legal responsibilities. A DuPage County family law attorney can help you protect your relationship with your child while also avoiding unnecessary legal trouble.

Why Might a Child Refuse Visitation?

Children may resist visitation for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the cause is minor, like being homesick or wanting to spend time with friends. Other times, the refusal may stem from deeper emotional struggles, such as difficulty adjusting to the separation, feelings of loyalty to one parent, or a strained relationship with the other parent.

In some cases, children may express fear or discomfort based on how they are treated during visitation. Courts take these concerns seriously, but they also recognize that parental influence—intentional or not—can impact how a child feels. It is important to understand why the child does not want to go, rather than just assuming there is no good reason.

What If the Child Alleges Abuse?

When a child refuses visitation due to claims of abuse or mistreatment, the situation must be taken seriously. A parent should not disregard a child’s fear or discomfort. If a child makes allegations of abuse, the parent should prioritize safety and immediately seek legal advice.

Depending on the nature of the allegations, it may be necessary to contact child protective services, file an emergency motion to suspend visitation, or request an order of protection. Courts will thoroughly investigate these claims and may appoint a guardian ad litem or order psychological evaluations to determine the truth of the allegations. If the claims are substantiated, visitation may be suspended, supervised, or permanently modified.

Are Parents Legally Required to Enforce Visitation?

Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, both parents are required to comply with parenting time orders. A custodial parent cannot simply accept a child’s refusal as an excuse to ignore a court mandate. Instead, the law expects parents to take reasonable steps to ensure that scheduled visitation happens.

However, courts recognize that physically forcing a child to attend visitation may not be realistic or healthy. The key legal expectation is that the parent genuinely encourages and does not undermine the visitation. If a parent does little to support the parenting time arrangement or influences the child’s resistance, he or she may be found in violation of the order.

What Are the Legal Consequences of Non-Compliance?

If one parent believes the other is not following the parenting time order, he or she can file a motion to enforce the order. The court will then review the situation and determine whether the custodial parent willfully failed to comply.

If the court finds that a parent unreasonably interfered with visitation, penalties will be enforced. These may include awarding the non-custodial parent additional time to make up for lost visits, imposing fines, or even modifying the parenting plan. In serious cases, especially where a pattern of interference is found, the court could change decision-making responsibilities altogether.

Courts do not want to punish parents unfairly, so they will carefully consider whether the custodial parent made genuine efforts to comply or if he or she contributed to the child’s refusal.

How Do Illinois Courts Evaluate These Situations?

Judges in Illinois assess parenting time disputes based on what is in the child's best interests. When a child refuses visitation, the court will examine his or her age, maturity, and reasons behind the refusal. The judge will also consider the custodial parent’s behavior. If a parent took appropriate steps to encourage the visit and handled the refusal responsibly, he or she is less likely to be penalized.

The court may also examine whether the child has been manipulated or alienated by one parent, whether there are legitimate safety or emotional concerns, and how the other parent has responded to the child’s resistance. The goal is to understand whether the visitation refusal is reasonable and whether a change to the parenting plan may be necessary.

Can the Parenting Plan Be Changed?

A child’s refusal to attend visitation may reflect a deeper issue that warrants a change in the parenting plan. If the child’s mental health is suffering or if there are concerns about the other parent’s behavior, the custodial parent may file a motion to modify parenting time.

Illinois law allows parenting time to be modified when there has been a major change in circumstances and when a change supports the child’s well-being. The child’s preferences may be considered, especially if he or she is older and capable of expressing a reasoned opinion. However, any modification must be based on credible evidence, not solely a child’s refusal.

How Should the Non-Custodial Parent Respond?

When dealing with a child who is refusing visitation, the non-custodial parent may feel frustrated or helpless. It is important not to react with anger or accusations, as this can escalate tensions and work against you in court. Instead, focus on taking constructive steps:

• Document missed visits, including dates and any communication with the custodial parent

• Remain calm and cooperative in interactions with the other parent

• Consider counseling to improve your relationship with the child

• If needed, request court intervention through a petition for enforcement or modification

By showing that you are committed to the child’s well-being and making efforts to maintain a relationship, you strengthen your case and increase the likelihood of a positive outcome.

Contact a DuPage County, IL Child Custody Lawyer

If your child is refusing court-ordered parenting time, it can be difficult to determine how to proceed without disobeying the mandate. A Wheaton, IL parenting time attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you understand your rights and obligations while working to protect your child’s well-being. Call 630-584-4800 to schedule a free consultation and learn how we can help you resolve your parenting time concerns.