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Why Friends May Abandon You During Your Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Why Friends May Abandon You During Your DivorceWhen you are starting your divorce, you may take comfort in the belief that you can rely upon your friends to provide emotional support during the process. Unfortunately, your divorce can change your relationship with your friends. Some may try to distance themselves from you by:

  • Treating you coldly;
  • Declining social invitations; or
  • Not inviting you to social events.

You may feel betrayed because these friends have abandoned you when you need them. Before completely writing these people off, you should understand how divorce can affect people’s friendships.

Staying Impartial

Spouses often share friends during their marriage. When someone is the friend of both people in a divorce, he or she is put in an awkward situation:

  • If the friend sides with one spouse, he or she may lose the friendship with the other spouse; or
  • If the friend tries to maintain a relationship with both spouses, he or she may become a conduit for the spouses’ continuing arguments.

Some friends may surprise you by siding with your spouse during the divorce. Other friends may choose to stay away from both of you because they do not want to be drawn into the divorce.

Romantic Threat

A person going through a divorce will soon be single and possibly looking for a new relationship. Some people view their single friends as threats to steal their spouses or romantic partners. They may misread friendly conversations between their divorcing friends and significant others as flirtation. If your friend is paranoid about you trying to seduce his or her significant other, there may be nothing you can do to prove that you are not a romantic rival. Your best option may be to respect your friend's feelings and keep your distance.

Societal Stigma

As normal as the practice has become, some people still have a bias against those who get divorced. The reason is likely personal. They may consider marriage a requirement to be among their circle of friends. They may feel it is inappropriate to invite a single person to social outings where all the other people are couples. In some cases, people are afraid that associating with friends who are getting divorced will somehow affect their own marriages. They feel insecure about their marriages and are avoiding reminders that they may be headed towards divorce, as well.

Divorce Support

Many friends will stand by you through your divorce, giving you the strength to persevere during a difficult time in your life. It is important to identify your support structure during your divorce. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can be one of the people on your side, advocating for your rights and needs. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.


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