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When an Adoption Does Not Work Out

Posted on in Adoption

Illinois family law attorney, Illinois adoption attorneyWhen you adopt a child, you adopt him or her with the intention of being a family forever. Whether you choose an international or domestic adoption, an infant or an older child, or an open or closed adoption, the goal is always the same: to become a parent to a child who is not biologically related to you.

But adoptions are not always smooth and perfect. In fact, integrating an adopted child into your household can be extremely stressful and involve a lot of conflict. Sometimes, this conflict becomes violent and household members are put at risk of injury. Other times, a child's special needs can become too much for the parents to handle, causing the child to suffer from having his or her needs go unfilled. In either of these scenarios, the parents are sometimes forced to consider whether it would be best for all parties involved for the child to leave the household.

Re-homing an Adopted Child

You might be familiar with the notion of “re-homing” adopted children. This is the concept of finding new parents for an adopted child without legal oversight, generally through internet forums. Although it is technically legal, requiring only that the parents sign documentation granting power of attorney of the children to the adults willing to take the child, it can be dangerous. Without the home study and careful evaluation that accompany a state-sanctioned adoption, children can potentially enter unsafe, unhealthy, and exploitative households this way.

I Cannot Keep My Child. What Can I Do?

Ask yourself and if applicable, your partner, why you feel you cannot keep your adopted child. Are you having a hard time bonding with him or her? Remember, bonding with a child can be a long process. You might not feel like your child is really “yours” until a year or so after he or she enters your household. Family counseling can be a way to overcome the initial struggles of transitioning an adopted child to your family.

But if counseling cannot help you get your issues with the child under control, you might need to take more drastic measures. These measures could include inpatient rehabilitation for your child, a return to the foster care system, and his or her eventual adoption by another family. Speak with your caseworker about your options and if necessary, contact the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS) to determine the safest placement for him or her. Although you might feel like a terrible parent, reaching out for help when you feel you cannot effectively be your child's parent is the best thing you can do for the child. When you do this, you are acting in the child's best interest.

Work with a Kane County Adoption Attorney

If you are having issues with your adopted child and considering re-homing him or her, speak with an experienced adoption attorney. You have right and the child has rights, and all of your rights need to be protected. To get started with our team of experienced Kane County adoption attorneys, contact the Goostree Law Group today.  



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