Can You Divorce-Proof a Marriage?

 Posted on April 27, 2018 in Divorce

In practical terms, there is no way to ensure that you will never divorce because relationships are too complex to know how you will feel about your marriage in the future. Resolving to never divorce out of principal only means you will have trapped yourself if your marriage turns sour. Your marriage goal should not be to avoid divorce but to build a strong and lasting relationship. If your marriage becomes untenable despite these efforts, you can decide to divorce knowing that you gave your marriage your best effort. There are several keys to creating a strong marriage:

1. Compassion Before Criticism: It is easy to find the flaws in your spouse because you are intimately aware of each other. In some cases, you need to point out a mistake for the betterment of your spouse. However, there are kinder ways to talk about it than directly criticizing him or her. You should expend more energy on supporting your spouse in making good decisions than pointing out his or her mistakes. It is better to be the lone cheerleader than join a chorus of critics.
2. Share Interests: It is important for spouses to work together to handle their daily responsibilities, but they should also find common interests that they can enjoy together. Handling finances and parental responsibilities can often be stressful for reasons that you cannot control. You need fun hobbies and activities that you can share so you have happy times together to balance out the unpleasant times.
3. Continue “Dating”: The spark you felt while you were dating each other is what led to your strong connection. You should make time to occasionally go out on dates to try to recapture some of that excitement. Beyond fun activities, this also means being physically intimate with each other. Communicate with your spouse if your sexual desires have changed as you have gotten older so you can find a solution together.
4. Words Matter: Courtesy and kindness can lapse during a marriage as you take your spouse’s presence for granted. You may have an unspoken assumption that you love and appreciate each other, but it is still good to hear it. Saying “thank you” and “I love you” affirms your feelings for each other.

No Perfect Union

It is natural to feel disappointed if your marriage is headed for divorce. However, you should not feel like you failed each other if you both honestly tried to make the marriage work. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can lead you through an amicable divorce that leaves both yourself and your former spouse in a better position. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/relationships/divorce-proof-marriage