Communicating with an Ex after Divorce

 Posted on June 20, 2013 in Divorce

Being divorced with kids is a very difficult on both parents.  Communication is often fragmented and strange between exes, but it is necessary to establish a new family dynamic for children.  While a co-parenting agreement will lay down groundwork for raising the children, it may not guide you on talking to your ex. Rather than focusing on the bad things that your ex has done to you or the regret and anger that this makes you feel, focus on positive aspects of your ex.  Although your relationship did not end up working, there is a difference in being a parent.  The care and love that they give your child should help you form a new bond.  Build that bond by sharing the exciting things that your children do. It is important to remain calm and patient with your ex during this difficult transition.  Your ex may know what to say or do to set you off, but it is important to weather those moments.  Your main concern is your children and ensuring that they are being raised in a kind and respectful environment. This also means that you should avoid antagonizing your ex as well.  If you try to incite or one-up your ex, it could backfire against your main goal, raising your children the best way you can.  If all else fails, setting some basic ground rules can limit the opportunities for you and your spouse to hurt each other.

• Communicate briefly with your ex
• Speak respectfully
• Do not involve your children when communicating to each other
• Stay out of each other’s personal lives.
• Do not run to your ex for support for your divorce.

With these pieces of advice and the direction of a legal professional, you will move from your divorce with greater confidence in your decision.  Contact a skilled family law attorney in Kane County to begin the process today. Image courtesy of  David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net