You have a sentimental and monetary decision to make in regards to what you should do with your engagement and wedding rings after your divorce. There are three options:

• Sell the rings;
• Keep the rings; or
• Give the rings back to your former spouse if he or she gave them to you.

Studies have found that Americans spend more than $6,000 on average for an engagement ring, and that average may be more than $8,000 in Illinois. Thus, the fate of your rings is highly valuable to you and your former spouse.

Selling the Rings

Illinois courts consider engagement and wedding rings to be gifts between spouses, which means they are separate from marital property. As the owner of the rings, you have the right to sell them and keep all of the proceeds. A premarital agreement could create an exception if the agreement states that you must either return the ring to the original purchaser or share its value as marital property. The value of your rings can still affect your division of property, even if they are not part of the marital property. The court has the discretion to compensate a spouse in the division of property if the other spouse has significant nonmarital properties.

For all of the work that goes into creating a premarital agreement, you want to feel assured that your effort was worthwhile. Premarital agreements settle the same division of property issues as a divorce, which requires accounting for your individual properties and debts. You may feel uncomfortable discussing the possibility of divorce before you have married. Not every marriage needs a premarital agreement. However, you should weigh the potential benefits of an agreement before dismissing the idea because it is at least worth a discussion.

Financial Protection

A premarital agreement is most useful when the parties own several properties from before their marriage. In the agreement, you can:

• Differentiate between marital and nonmarital properties; and
• Determine which marital properties you will receive in case of a divorce.

The agreement will protect your ownership of key assets, such as your business interests and retirement benefits. An agreement can still be useful if you have not accumulated many premarital assets. Your spouse may have premarital debts, such as student loans, which you may share responsibility for during your marriage. A premarital agreement can separate the debts you are each liable for in case of divorce.

Your appearance can portray your attitude towards your divorce as much as anything you say or do. Divorce is a formal process in which you are making important decisions that will affect your life and the lives of your children. Dressing appropriately tells others that:

• You take your divorce seriously;
• You will behave professionally during the process; and
• You are organized and responsible.

A divorce court judge is the most important person to make a good impression with by your appearance. The judge will form opinions about your character based on how you dress and groom yourself, which may affect his or her decisions on issues such as the allocation of parental responsibilities.

Attire

The clothing you wear should be formal and tasteful. Business casual is appropriate when you are meeting with your spouse outside of court. At court, you should dress more formally to fit the serious and professional atmosphere. Think of what you would wear to a job interview or important meeting. Men should wear a suit or jacket with a tie. Women can wear a simple dress, tasteful shirt and pants, or a business suit. There are several types of clothing you should avoid wearing, including:

Many long-term marriages share traits that create a strong relationship, such as respect, dedication, admiration, and patience. You cannot know whether these attributes will develop and sustain themselves in your marriage, but your interactions before your marriage can foreshadow how you will get along in your marriage. You can more easily predict when a marriage is destined for divorce than when it will succeed. Some couples enter ill-advised marriages because they ignore warning signs of incompatibility or make hasty decisions.

Social Pressure

You may become more anxious to get married as you grow older because:

• You fear that your chances of attracting a spouse will diminish with age;
• You want to start a family while you are still biologically capable of doing so;
• Your family is asking about your relationships and whether you have thought about marriage; and
• Your friends are getting married, leaving you as one of the only unmarried people in your group of friends.

An unexpected pregnancy may also pressure you into marriage out of a sense of responsibility. Pressuring yourself into marriage can cause you to ignore whether you are compatible with your potential spouse. You settle for someone who meets your minimum qualifications for marriage instead of choosing someone with whom you can develop a strong relationship.

Some parents who are in failing marriages stay together for the betterment of their children. The seemingly ideal time to divorce is when the youngest child graduates from high school because:

• The children are more mature;
• They often leave home to go to college; and
• The divorce agreement will not need to cover the allocation of parental responsibilities or child support.

You may feel noble by deciding to delay your divorce for a couple of years until your children have become adults. You are considering the needs of your children before your own. However, postponing a necessary divorce can emotionally damage your children in ways you did not intend:

1. Your Children Are Continually Exposed to Your Conflicts: Staying married for your children will not fix the problems in your relationship. You will not be able to hide the tension between each other from your children. You will either openly lash out at each other or create an awkward environment by not talking to each other. Your children are learning from you how to interact in relationships.
2. Your Children Feel at Fault for Your Unhappiness: Your older children will realize that they are the reason you have not gotten a divorce. Rather than admire you for your selflessness, they may feel guilty that they are prolonging your misery. Your children will think of themselves as your burden, which is unhealthy for their emotional development.
3. Divorce Hurts, No Matter the Age: Postponing your divorce will delay your children’s pain instead of lessening it. Young adults better understand divorce, but your decision will still upset them. They may believe that being older means that they should not share their feelings with you, even though they need your emotional support.
4. You Are Creating Uncertainty When Your Children Need Certainty: Becoming an adult is a major change in your child's life because he or she is leaving home for the first time and facing new responsibilities. Your home can provide comfort and stability to your children when they are feeling uncertain. By divorcing at the same time that your child leaves home, you have taken away part of your child’s support system and compounded the changes in his or her life.

A Tough Choice

There is not an ideal time in your children’s lives for you to get a divorce because the experience will always cause emotional trauma. Though it feels selfish, you must consider your own emotional health and happiness. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can provide information to help you decide when you should get a divorce. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.